A crazy-fancy red wig with black braids and all manner of jewelry embedded in it walks around Julii Cooper's place, surveying the numerous and equally well-decked-out partygoers. The wig turns and we see that it's being worn by Julii Cooper herself, who went with the one with the three inches of blonde "roots." She notices that Servilia has just arrived, and makes her way over to greet her. Servilia, having gone with a complicated updo that points aggressively out to the sides, thanks Julii Cooper for inviting her as they air-kiss. Julii Cooper lies that she insisted Servilia come: "Whatever misfortune befalls you, we're still friends, nay?" Servilia sees right through it, and heads on into the party without another word. Julii Cooper comments to her old-lady servant, "She has a good cosmetics slave, I grant you, but a lover for Caesar? Absurd." I wish I understood the relationship between Servilia and Julii Cooper aside from being threatened by each other. I mean, obviously they have the same last name, "of the Julii," but beyond that I have no idea.

Caesar himself walks to Julii Cooper's house, dressed in his red-and-gold party toga and surrounded by a huge retinue that more than makes up for the fact that he doesn't have a limo. One of his men bangs on the door with what can't possibly be a musket barrel no matter how much it looks like one. When Castor opens up, Caesar's man bellows, "Make way for the Proconsul Gaius Julius Caesar! Son of Venus! Imperator of the Gallic legions! Stand aside and open up!" When Caesar enters the party with Calpurnia at his side (leaving all those other guys out on the street), all of the guests not already standing get to their feet. Julii Cooper hurries to greet him first, with her children at her side. They face Caesar and bow. "Please, you mock me," Caesar says. "It's only your uncle Gaius. Lift your heads." When they obey, Caesar repeats the request to the room at large. He sure knows how to play the "man of the people" routine. He should tell the guy who announced his arrival. "My dear niece," he says to Julii Cooper, who calls him "revered uncle" and welcomes him home. Caesar steps down into the silent room and begins to circle it, surveying the guests. Not many "aristos and optimates" remain in the city, because there can't be many more than fifty people here. The next person he greets by name is Servilia. Calpurnia follows suit as Servilia curtseys. "I'm very sorry your son is not here with you," Caesar says pointedly. Servilia says she's sorry too, and hopes Caesar will forgive Brutus: "He is ever your friend." "I understand completely," Caesar says, speaking for no one else. Or maybe he's just distracted by the older woman standing behind Servilia, who's got her hair done up to make herself look like an Independence Day alien. Caesar asks Servilia to send Brutus his regards "and assure him that he will never have reason to regret our friendship." Well, no, Brutus won't. "Nor will any of you," he announces to the room, "regardless of where your allegiances may have lain in the past." The Chief Augur nearly chokes on a dormouse.