Rome
Rome

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | 892 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Toga Parties

Posca approaches Julii Cooper's house, where her staff is busily cleaning up and/or painting over graffiti that's been scrawled on its walls. Since the hostile Latin phrases went largely over my head last week, they're fixing that this week by showing us one that simply reads "Caesar Tyrannus" over a large drawing of a head fellating a giant cock. Well, I guess Latin isn't as difficult as I thought. The servant reaches the front gate and meets Julii Cooper's slave, Castor. They greet each other warmly, commiserating over each other's positions in life. Posca calls himself "a slave of a rebel," while Castor says, "For true misery, try bondage to a bloody-minded woman." I suppose that if she's in the habit of doing stuff like this, some is bound to leak through. The two men go inside the compound and take a seat as Caesar's guy relays his boss's request for no shellfish at the party Julii Cooper's apparently hosting today -- her third in as many episodes, the hedonist -- and Castor looks over the guest list that Caesar has sent along. Posca says he hopes Julii Cooper is aware of the honor given her: "She is first lady of Rome, in effect." Castor wonders what that makes Caesar's wife, then. Posca explains that Caesar needs Calpurnia to be pretty much a statue of sorts. Lucky, lucky Calpurnia. Posca, noticing Castor's attention to the list, says that it includes "every aristo and optimate left in the city." Castor asks seriously, "Caesar's not planning on killing them, is he?" Posca casually but just as seriously says he doesn't think so. "My mistress doesn't like surprises," Castor warns. I'll bet she doesn't like being killed, either. She seems like the type.

Julii Cooper's first unpleasant surprise of the day has already presented itself, as she goes over the guest list in her bedchamber, surrounded by her slave women as well as Castor. The big question on her mind is why Caesar is inviting Servilia of the Julii. She wonders if there's anything going on between Caesar and "a raddled old sandal like her." She says she won't let Servilia get between her and Caesar, and hops over onto the bed, where Mark Antony is peacefully sleeping. At least, he is until Julii Cooper spoons up and taps him on the back, asking why Servilia's invited. "On account of her son, obviously," Mark Antony slurs sleepily. "For this you wake me?" Without getting off of him, Julii Cooper takes the chance to assure herself that Caesar's merely maintaining a symbolic friendship with Brutus: "There's no love there. It's just politics." Funny, if you replace the word "love" in that comment with "sex," "violence," or "almost anything remotely interesting," you end up with a pretty decent recaplet of this episode. "Dear gods, woman, would you let me sleep?" Mark Antony moans. Way ahead of you there, dudeus.

Rome

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP