Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | 1 USERS: B+
Here Comes The Judge

Looks like the slave waited until morning to tell Julii Cooper about her incestuous offspring, but she's definitely gotten the message now. Bet that slave had a long night, though. Julii Cooper storms through the house carrying a whip as Octavian follows her, futilely telling her to calm down. In the courtyard, they catch up to Octavia, who can tell right away that the jig is up. She at first starts to flee, and then cowers as Julii Cooper charges up to bring the whip down on her back. Octavian gets there in time to stop the blow, which almost earns him one of his own. He blocks it, though, saying, "I am your son, not your child. You will not strike me anymore!" Julii Cooper's rebuttal is a sock across the jaw that sends Octavian slumping to the ground. Looks like he was wrong for once. Julii Cooper yells at him, "You fucked your sister, you little pervert! Don't tell me what I will and will not do!" While she's thus occupied, Octavia snatches the whip from her and threatens her with it. "You wouldn't dare," Julii Cooper dares, and for once she's right, as Octavia drops the lash and sits on the nearest bench, distraught. Julii Cooper, much of her fury spent, sits next to her and asks how she could do this. Octavia accuses Julii Cooper of having killed Glabius. Rather than asking what that has to do with screwing Octavian, Julii Cooper denies the charge. Octavia tells her mother what she heard from Servilia, and Julii Cooper asks whether Octavia ever saw the witness Servilia claimed to have. Of course, Octavia didn't, which gives her mother an opening: "I swear on the spirits of my ancestors, on the stone of Jupiter, I did not kill your husband!" Well, not personally. Julii Cooper says that Servilia lied to turn Octavia against her mother. Which may be true; the theory that Servilia made up a lie that happened to be correct makes as much sense as her doing a little freelance homicide detecting on the side. Octavia cries regretfully, and Julii Cooper puts a comforting arm around her. "My poor lamb," she says. Hey, what about the other kid, the one who's still on the floor where you knocked him? At least the scene ends before he gets thumped again.

Nighttime again. Pullo comes into the Vorenian courtyard, a torch in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. He sets the torch into a torch-holder thingy, sits down, and starts calling more and more loudly for J. No. Fortunately, she wakes up from her perch on the mezzanine and starts coming down before anyone else does. He invites her to sit and join him for a drink, and her reaction to the taste makes it evident that this is her first direct experience with the stuff. "My mother had hair like yours," he says, apropos of nothing except to continue the incest theme that's been going on for the last fifteen minutes or so. He goes on about his mother the slave for a while as J. No looks at him blankly. He gets up to walk around agitatedly as the subject drifts to his unknown father: "Just another slave, probably. Some timid cunt shoveling shit with a collar around his neck because he didn't have the courage to die like a man! I'd cut my fucking heart out of my chest and eat it before I knelt down to anybody!" And then he hollers the C-word again, just for good measure. The neighbors start waking up and complaining, and he yells right back, "Suck my cock, the lot of you! I'm Titus Pullo, right?" Good, so now they know whose ass to kick in the morning. Pullo's really upset about Vorenus's appointment, isn't he? It looks like he's adopted some of Vorenus's philosophical tenets: (1) Always behave honorably, even if it's to your own disadvantage; (2) Caesar's not so great; and (3) If you have a reason to be happy and a reason to be miserable, always be miserable. J. No is looking at Pullo with greater disillusionment by the moment. He tells her she's "a good girl," although she doesn't smile much. She asks if he wants her to smile, and he says he wants to her to be happy. Odd thing to say to one's slave. But she obliges with a rather sickly grin. Pullo is just drunk enough to be totally charmed by it, and makes her drink some more wine. That done, he bids her to stand in front of him and take off her dress. Dutifully, she obeys. Pullo gazes in wonder as if he's never seen a naked woman before. Of course, we can't really see this one because of the framing and the dim light. As you'll recall, he claimed a few episodes ago never to have touched her. That's over as of now, though. Pullo starts mauling her, while she stands there looking bored. Try some more wine, maybe.

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