Liz sees Maria at the kitchen door and runs back to see what's the fuss. "Night from hell," Maria bellows twice, and Liz chokes out a half-heartedly concerned I'm-only-helpful-in-the-animal-emergency-room-really, "What's up?" Maria gives her back a convenient, "Michael's up. Very up." Because of how Liz asked, "What's up?" So, ha. They enter Liz's room to find Michael levitating several poorly-CGIed inches above the bed, Max holding a hand above Michael's abdomen because -- well, I don't know why at all.

Okay! I get it! Isabel and Kyle have chemistry! Uncle! Uncle, already! Now give them something real to do. And this right here ain't it. They enter a house (is this the same fraternity house from five seconds ago?), Kyle announcing, "This is a college party. A frat house. Why am I here?" Isabel tells Michael that he has to set his sights "a little higher than high school," and they go about scoping the room for a score for Kyle. As such, Isabel eschews "Bernadette Tahoe" on the basis that she is "dumb as a fencepost and only likes girls," which is a finely phrased line in a lot of ways. Isabel indicates a blonde hussy named "Bitsy" who Isabel calls "the girl of [his] dreams," and Isabel introduces them. She is the girl of his dreams. She's four eleven if she's an inch.

Floaty Michael sweats floatily above Liz's bed. He's got no strings to hold him down. Except for the six miles of cable you can see suspending him six inches above the bed like Gretchen Cleevely in the Turtle Creek Middle School production of Peter Pan. Maria asks Max hopefully if Michael is going to live, and Max notes that he's made it through the "rough stuff." So they retreat downstairs, Max asking permission to use the Crashdown bathroom. Liz and Maria take to having the discussion they've shared each of the last ninety times they've spoken to each other, in which Maria confides, "My evening is set. I'm just gonna be stuck here, babysitting a drunken alien." But upstairs, Michael, lying in bed, sorts through the static and can hear with perfect clarity the entire conversation going on downstairs. Maria: "Is my life really gonna be like from this from now on? I mean, no matter what I do or say, it ropes back to some kind of an alien crisis. I can't even get one night off to find a stupid party." I. Know. Just. How. She. Feels.

Back at the frat, Kyle is telling wacky jokes, and Isabel guffaws at every word. She volunteers to Bitty Bitsy that "Kyle is a Buddhist now. It's really inspirational." Bitty Bitsy worries that Kyle is "some guy with a fat Buddha statue who prays to get laid on Friday night." Kyle laughs guiltily, as if to say, "By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear it is a lie!" But then he comes clean about the Buddha and the Friday and the praying, and Bitty Bitsy is happy at least for his honesty, if not his isolated and antisocial disconnect from an integrated society that doesn't need a god -- a confusing and cryptic Eastern god, no less -- to get some lovin' on New Year's Eve. Isabel sees a spark between them and takes off. Kyle thanks her for her Yenta-ish help, and stares Isabel down and down and down as she walks away. What are these feelings he is having?