The Ramirez house has a nook! Does sex in every room extend to the nook, or is that allowed to apply to the kitchen? After all, Jesse does have quite a lot of flossing to do. He has quite a lot of teeth. While Mom and Pop Evans eat dinner in the nook and share pleasantries with Jesse, Isabel replays a conversation in her head that we weren't there for the first time, in which Max tells Isabel that she has to cover for him because they trust him, Isabel demands that they tell them the truth, so on, so on. Isabel demands, "I want to tell them." She opens her mouth at the table: "I want to tell you the truth about what's been going on with Max. It's about Tess. Max got Tess pregnant. But she left before the baby was born, so Max may have a child out there somewhere. The night that she left, he was so angry that he just drove all night and pushed his Jeep off a cliff because he was so crazy." Monopoly Nazi seems sated, and apologizes for asking those questions and putting Jesse in the middle. Cut to a phone conversation in which Isabel tells Max that they bought everything, and "maybe now we can get back to normal." But no! Because The Backstory Board has a new face on it under "conspirators," and it's Isabel in her even-magic-alien-powers-couldn't-make-it-pretty old granny wedding gown.

Park bench by night. Maria wanted to talk to Michael, so he bought some flowers along to stave off the anger. Michael asks if Hal has gone yet, and Maria confirms that he has. But then she launches in, telling him, "I want out because I love you so much. I love you more than you can possibly know." But she hasn't been honest with him. Michael mystifyingly tosses out the line, "If you're trying to tell me you're a bisexual or something, I'm cool with that." Huh? Wait. I don't think that's it. "Things change." Michael asks if she'll come back to him. But she just walks away. Because she's got a concert to do! Michael sits alone on the park bench, and Maria returns home and takes her guitar out of hiding. Isabel stares straight ahead. Monopoly Nazi downs scotch and thinks about blackboards. Michael remembers happier times. He really did look better with short hair. Maria brays on cross-promotionally.