We chung-chung to present day, inside the You-Once-Were-Nice-To-A-Minority County Jail (Utah has some really strict laws, people), where Max's parents walk toward his cell looking extremely concerned. Philip "Monopoly Nazi" Evans and his beleaguered wife, Bangs, enter the cell. Max flashes the pearly yellows and quips, "In the neighborhood?" Why, look who's taking really well to jail, eh? Mr. Evans, who smiles inappropriately way too much throughout this episode, smiles (see that?) and gives Max a hug. During the juuuuust-a-moment-too-long embrace, Merry Mason (because he's a powerful lawyer and he smiles a lot, see?) whispers in Max's ear, "If you want to get out of here while you're still a young man, don't say anything to anyone unless I'm present." Translation: "If you want to get out of here while you're still a young man, next time try and get arrested in 1987." He continues on, "I'm not your father right now; I'm your lawyer." Bangs follows with a hug, asking, "What is going on? Who are you?" He's "2! 4! 6! 0! Ooooooooooooooone!" Pipe down, Max.
And in the girlie cell, the far more amusing parental power couple of Slackjaw and Julianne Less sit at a table with Liz, Slackjaw ranting, "Why are you under arrest for armed robbery? What are you doing in Utah?" Julianne Less tries to defray the tension while wearing that concerned forgot-to-add-the-fabric-softener mask that overlays her every emotion, asking Slackjaw to "just stay calm." Calm, Slackjaw asks? CALM? "How long can I stay calm?" Julianne Less suggests that someone put her up to all this, and while Slackjaw rants around in the background, Liz quietly monotones, "I'm not gonna speak to anyone until they let me talk to Max." Slackjaw falls silent. Julianne Less gives her a look so stricken you'd guess someone had poured Downy into her eyes.
Goddammit, Kenny, that's really enough in the way of Max and Liz, no? But we flash back to two months, thirty days, twenty-three hours-cakes, and we're later in the evening, back on Christmas Dock with Max and Liz. They're lying next to each other, holding hands, Liz on top again (this is so just exactly the kind of detail about their relationship we just don't need, really), Liz saying, "So I've broken, like, twelve of my mom's rules, already." Max laughs, almost sinister in his response, "Rules?