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Djb: D+ | Grade It Now!
Bring 'Em Young

At some point, Slackjaw went back to Roswell to pick up a tie. Because it's hearing day, and the Parkers are standing outside of the courthouse (I made that up), listening to a dapper man spin some news in their direction. Merry Mason approaches, and Slackjaw and Julianne Less tell him, "Mr. McGregor here was just giving us the inside scoop on the Salina court system." Merry Mason is skeptical. Happy, but skeptical. Julianne Less tells us that this so-called McGregor told them to "plead guilty," but Merry Mason reminds us that McGregor is the prosecutor in the case and WHO CARES? Julianne Less totally faces Merry Mason and is all, "You're a corporate lawyer and this is not your area of expertise!" Merry Mason tells us that "we're all in this together." And to the courthouse, where we're no longer in this together. Max is released to the custody of his parents and can't come back to Utah, and the world wonders which part of that is the punishment and which part of that is the reward. Liz, however, was the one holding the gun. She's going to criminal court. Well. That didn't work out particularly well. Max seems sad. Criminals get killer weight rooms. Not to mention the…oh, never mind. Let's just say they get other things, too.

Liz, Slackjaw, Julianne Less, and another humorless prig lawyer with a clipboard and a dream to never let me go outside again, even though this is Southern California and the weather is perfect and I have a porch with chairs and a table -- which of us, Liz or I, is the one truly in the prison, I ask you? Blah blah, and interchangeable lawyer tells Liz to try and "make a deal." Does that mean he'll give her a crisp fifty if she can pull a black comb out of her purse, or…maybe I should just keep watching. Sorry. He continues, "Maybe you fell in with a bad crowd. Met a guy with a problem. Maybe Max dragged you into this." Liz shrewdly deduces that they want her to "sell Max out," and Slackjaw hardlines that "He sold you out when he made you walk in there holding that gun." Liz repeats that they're in this love together like berries on the vine getting sweeter all the time and so forth. The lawyer asks how they got the gun to begin with, which seems like the perfect "Rose, get the cheesecake" moment for a flashback that doesn't explain -- or even touch upon -- how they got the gun. Sometimes they just make it so damn easy.

Some Time In The Past Or Maybe Not. Sometimes they just make it so damn hard. Liz stands somewhere on the scoping fjords of Sandy Land, brandishing a firearm and listening to Max explain that he "did some research at the UFO Center. There are five government storage facilities large enough to hold the ship. It's gotta be in one of them." What? WHAT? Does that make a fucking lick of sense to any of you? First of all, what? I know I don't even bother trying to wrangle down the continuity mess of this show and leave it to the smarter among you to take care of it for me on the forums, but…wait, WHAT? Okay. Okay, first of all, WHAT? I'm trying to sort this out. I've been learning to multitask again lately, so I have to break this down. And the first task I feel needs some aggressive tackling is as follows: WHAT?

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