Roswell
Roswell

Episode Report Card
Djb: C- | 684 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Shut up...mon

Wait. What car is this? Porno drives a Jeep through a gaping hole in automotive continuity, weaving in and out of lanes. Jesse sits shotgun, trying to make a call on his cell phone. But a darned cell phone keeps ringing in the back seat, where a pasty and shot-up Isabel lies make-up-less in Michael's arms. Michael takes the cell phone out of Isabel's, um, brain, I think, and throws it in the back seat. Meanwhile, Jesse barks into his phone, "I got an emergency here, my wife is shot. If I could go to the hospital, I wouldn't be calling you!" The Eric Stoltz character on the other end appears to be uttering the "well then, you go to a hospital, bite the fucking bullet, and call a lawyer" portion of this dialogue rip-off exercise, and Michael asks from the back, "Are you sure about this doctor?" We learn that Jesse's medical professional is no doctor at all, but instead "an old friend from the neighborhood." They improv their next lines, which is ill-advised, and Jesse demands, "Just meet me at my apartment!" Porno interrupts, advising instead, "Go to my house. It's closer." Read: Jesse and Isabel's apartment has been ripped down and sold for scrap metal to the production team of As If. Which is a show I love because I've heard it's great. Good golly, people, that word of mouth is really catching on!

Roswell

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