And so they dance their dance of lies. But on her way from the table, Liz puts a hand on the plate that held her dinner, and in doing so melts a large portion of the ceramic from the complete opposite side of where her hand was. A busboy just then comes to clear the plate, which is really hot to the touch and causes him to pull his hand back, all, "That plate is really hot to the touch!" Screw you, wage slave. There's dancing to be danced!

Opening credits: Shut up, bitch.

Liz is the only good friend in the whole of the infinite universe. And she wanted you to know. We're over at the Crashdown, Maria sitting alone at the bar drinking what appears to be a strawberry shake. Liz approaches with a plate and announces loud enough for those-who-hold-God's-checklist-to-heaven hear, "Pluto potato skins, on the house." Pluto what skins huh? Liz offers congratulations, then tells Maria that she's going to "call it a night." They share a brief kiss (I guess just saying his name was enough for Liz to catch a case of the Elton Johns…that condition must be really contagious), and Liz takes off. But rock stars can never brood alone for long, and Liz is soon replaced at Maria's side by Porno, who slides Maria a wad of cash and tells her, "Before I forget, here's your cut from Cow Paddy's." From, uh, what? While he's there, Porno casually asks if Maria would like to "sit in with the Kit Shickers on a more permanent basis." Maria smiles, rock-star cool, and asks, "No shick?" This show! The scandal! They're almost cursing! He tells her that she "wouldn't just be singing back-up, either," adding that he's been "working on a set list" that includes "'Baby, It's Cold Outside' done rockabilly," which Maria likes, "'Stop Dragging My Heart Around,'" which she proclaims as "classic," and "'Islands in the Stream,'" about which Maria proclaims, "Not so much." Boo-hoo, sister. You had me, then you lost me -- that song rules, and it should be a deal-breaker for an artist of Porno's integrity. Besides, once you use the word "rockabilly" with a straight face, as a point of sale to increase the cool cache of your band, no less, there's just no going back.