Four Aliens And A Baby

Episode Report Card
Djb: C | Grade It Now!
Countdown to Ecstasy III: Rise of the Machines

Late night. Liz stage-sleeps, and is soon to be woken by Tess, who asks why Liz didn't vote against her. Liz fake-sleep-voices, "Because I'm not a killer, Tess." But alas, Tess needs another favor: "I need you to drive me somewhere." Cut to the Scoping Fjords of Sandy Land, where a brief heart-to-heart ensues about Max always loving Liz and never Tess. Tess exits the car, and then something big blows up. Apparently, that makes everything better. Interesting.

In the kitchen of Fortress Evans under broad daylight, Max sips from a giant white mug. Monopoly Nazi enters and asks, "Don't you need sleep?" Max deadpans, "Didn't I tell you? Aliens don't need sleep." Guffaws all around. Monopoly Nazi won't be laughing much when the aliens…eat his brains! Max says it's hard to tear himself away from his son, and Monopoly Nazi attests that that's the same kind of love he and Bangs feel for Max and Isabel. But Max frets that an ambiguous "they" is still after an ambiguous "us," and Max weeps, "I just want my son to live a normal life." Monopoly Nazi promises that he will, but Max notes, "He's human. He deserves a normal human life." All he wanted was to find Zan (and rename him, God willing), and now he feels that he must give him up. "Right now I have to ensure his own safety." Monopoly Nazi, brandishing his own giant white mug, asks if Max is "sure about this." Monopoly Nazi has "a law school buddy who handles things like this." Things like what? Max wants him to have parents "just like you and Mom." Awww. I'd cry if I still had a soul.

Max stares more. Stop scarring the child. Bangs and Monopoly Nazi walk out onto the stoop of Fortress Evans, Monopoly Nazi telling Max, "It's time." Max waves a hand across Star Baby's forehead, displaying the symbol of the five triangulated planets in his sizable, Dawson-esque brow. Bangs asks untrustingly what that was. Max says, "Just a memory," which is something poetic that doesn't really make any sense, kind of like "Don't Cry For Me, Argentina." The car pulls off. Star Baby is off on tour. Max and Liz hug. Because, well, these two losers aren't going anywhere.

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