A disembodied voice informs a woman whom I think we've seen before, "The sooner you help us, Mrs. Mills, the sooner you can return home." This so-called Mrs. Mills is the woman from the opening sequence (remember way back then? Yeah, me neither) who was not killed by a man with a gun. She stares down at the Roswell press kit, glossy 8x10s of the cast trying to do the stage direction "curiously suspicious, though not so much so that they won't be marketable for Neutrogena commercials in the very, very near future" the appropriate justice. She pauses for a moment before mumbling, "They helped me. They saved my life." But no matter. Monotone men in suits hate foiled muggings. Or so we seem to be learning. Another man threatens Mrs. Mills: "I'm sure your two children would be very happy to see you. It's getting late." Mrs. Mills cracks just then under the pressure of being not-that-threatened and trapped in a totally well-lit room for at least eleven whole minutes of hell! She hasn't even removed the little purple coat of her little purple sweater set. She eyes the press kit. She considers them all. She points to a photo of Max and a photo of Liz. God, I hope Mrs. Mills isn't a casting agent. She asks if she can leave, and is told, "You were never here. You never saw us." Because we've seen how keeping things on the ol' hush-hush ranks so highly as one of Mrs. Mills's strong points. She's gone, out a door with a small sign reading "Glorified Extras Parking This Way," into the night of permanent non-memorability. The two remaining Military Men start moving the photos around into fun shapes and patterns, like those long nights in the foxhole together have forced them to make up a card game based on their Doomed Alien Trading Cards. One moves four photos of Max, Michael, Isabel, and Liz all next to each other, and keeps himself from yelling "Uno!" out of only the sheerest force of will. Military Man #1 indicates them and speaks his brilliant plan to the world: "These four. This is everyone. Now we can move. Someplace where they're all together indoors. A facility we can lock down. Someplace they won't expect it to happen." If only the episode title would come and clear up this maddening mystery. Somewhere but where? Incidentally, I love that they've figured out who the aliens are, and just decided to tack Liz on the list of the doomed because they can. It feels very much like an idea they might have taken from us.
Episode Report CardDjb: C- | 914 USERS: C+
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