Max and Liz embark on their inexcusable "Saving The World Through Handjobs" crusade as they make with the nookie once more. That is, until there's a flash of a bald man, who watches the same four shots of the dying Alien Three plus one Liz thrown in for luck and bonus death. Liz comes out of it and runs to her bookshelf, showing Max a book written by a "Bryce McCain," who Max automatically knows will be "the guest of honor at the UFO Convention. We die June 12." Liz: "That's in two weeks!" Max: "We have twelve days." Jesus, people. Put away the sundial. We believe you know what day it is.
Out on The Scoping Fjords Of Sandy Land, no one can come up with a plan. Much morose silence ensues, and Max tells the assemblage, "I won't make this decision for everyone. I'm giving up the throne." For the uninitiated viewer of this show, I can't even imagine how stupid that line sounds. Because for the lifers, I can say with great authority it sounded pretty dumb. Michael is the only pragmatist in the group, suggesting, "Why don't we get out of Dodge before they land on us? We leave." They know who they are, so he assumes that "it's over." He also speeches that if they go, they have to go separately. Why? "Right now we're safer as individuals than we are as a group. I mean, what are we going to do if we go together, get a van?" Meh. It didn't work on Dead Last. Porno asks if they all have to go, and Michael reminds them of the only four who are in danger, which is clearly ridiculous, because if the government has a camera inside of an exploding garden gnome (which it appeared they did, considering the number of angles from which we saw that thing explode), they know who the aliens are hanging with and could inflict a similar level of, uh, picture-taking on them as well. Maria freaks out that they're just leaving her here, bellowing the most important line in series history, which should have been on the posters at bus stops from Season One: "This is just a perfect way to end this entire stupid thing." She storms off. Max steps back in to glitch up the plan, advising, "If we're gonna go, we shouldn't hesitate. We should start leaving right after graduation." Or maybe, um, now? Meanwhile, Liz chases Maria down and is all "snap out of it, bitch." Maria's falling apart. Liz wants to know if Maria wants in or out. They hug. Porno tells Kyle that he got him a job at the sheriff's office. Isabel tells Jesse they'll go to Boston together. Max and Michael are the only ones left, Michael telling Max, "Well, I'm not graduating, so I guess I'll be the first to leave." Max knows things between them haven't been the best. Perhaps a five-minute hug will clear things up. No? What if we add an aerial view of it? Ah that's better.