Roswell
Interruptus

Episode Report Card
Djb: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Too many khooks in the khitchen

Isabel "Just Cause" Evans descends the steps of the Crashdown wearing a new, non-curtains-y dress, which I guess means we've mercifully broken the borrowed mom items. I'm sad to see the formal tradition of "something old" (Max's age), "something new" (the ill-begotten chalk marks on Max's driver's license where he tries to convince the remaining nine of us that he's still in high school), "something borrowed" (the time that this show is living on) and "something blue" (I don't know, Max's varicose veins?) didn't make it, but I am pleased to see that the passing down of the wedding dress may span numerous generations but did not bridge two whole episodes. At the bottom of the steps, Isabel runs into Kyle, who asks her in a panic, "What are you doing? You didn't tell them?" Isabel snaps back that he can tell them his darn self, but he'll have to wait until she's gone. Kyle shows even more concern, following up, "Isn't this guy, like, an alien killer or…?" Isabel snaps that she only gets "one honeymoon," and that her interstellar, velvet-collared, Celine-Dion-video-conjuring lover we met last week isn't going to ruin that for her. Kyle tries to reason with her, but his giant pink corsage and what appears to be actually declining height make him vaudeville-ishly difficult to take seriously: "Isabel, I'm all for denial as a way of life, but you can't just run away from this one." Isabel pauses for a moment, before shooting back an impassioned "Yes, I can" and taking her leave of the kitchen.

Michael takes his drippy (ha! See what I did there, with the washing-dishes subplot?) subplot about dishes into the kitchen, asking Kyle if he wants to "wash or dry." As opposed to Max's "you really have to try both ways before you're completely sure which one you're more comfortable with" response, which I'm sure scared Michael into the kitchen to begin with, Kyle stares angrily after Isabel and mutters, "I can't believe she didn't tell you." Michael calls out, "Tell me what?" before taking the dishes deeper inside the diner. Silly man! Dishes are supposed to be found, collected, and harvested outside! Haven't we learned that those little saucers need lots of sunshine and fresh air or they'll never grow into full-sized plates? Oh, and if that damn huge carnation on Kyle's diminutive lapel doesn't spray water into at least one person's face to hilarious comic effect really soon, Spencer Gifts can kiss their corporate branding tie-in goodbye.

The Ramirez party of two takes off, the parents and friends yelling, "Ruzzah ruzzah blah blah bye George and Emily" after them and establishing through the line "Have a good time in La Jolla!" that they are, in fact, having their honeymoon in La Jolla. Hugs are exchanged, and Bangs calls out a plaintive "We'll miss you!" This comment actually stops Isabel where she stands, because the script quite explicitly expresses that it must, and she turns from the door and tells her mother, "Mom, it's a week! I'll call." Which is basically the Roswell foreshadowing equivalent of a horror movie's "I'll be right back." Max and Bangs stand together, sharing a moment of understanding when Bangs notes sadly, "Everything's different now," and Max rivets us anew with his studied response, "Yeah. It is." Wow. He talks the way actual people talk. It's so natural. Those two were born exactly nine minutes apart.

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Roswell

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