Yeesh. A montage. It's what I'll assume is the following night, Michael blazing into the office, tie-less, hat-less, shirt undone, bad, and we cut to these pent-up, pasty, mullet-y, chess club dorks playing poker, drinking Delicious SNAPPLE Brand Beverage, cracking open a case of SNAPPLE-brand beverage long after we've seen half-consumed bottles of it sitting on the makeshift poker table, and dancing around the office to the music that I think only we're supposed to hear. Out in the hallway, though, Michael bounces a basketball and listens earnestly while last night's Steve The Standing Guy (easily recognized by his lack of mullet and his standing) warns Michael, "I just don't want this to get out of control. Some of us actually need this job." As opposed to those who take such a high-profile job just to get laid. Michael bounces a basketball and proclaims "Door 53 secure" before asking Steve The Standing Guy, "What's the worst that could happen?" Security breach! Security breach! Hackneyed foreshadowing has broken loose from Door 53!
Pizza and Delicious SNAPPLE Brand Beverages abound as the relaxed crew is suddenly rattled by the appearance of Dabney Coleman at the long end of a black-and-white televised hallway. Good thing they decided to watch that awesome No One's Driving A Pipe Bomb Into The Parking Garage show on the grainy but informative Security Camera Network for once, all the better to save their asses in light of this exciting new development. They clean up in a hurry, clipping on ties and matting down mullets. Dabney enters and quickly becomes Nine To Five's angry graveyard shift alter-ego "Crabney Coleman," entering the room and sensing the awkward vibe. That darn Principal Vernon is going to give them all another detention for sure. Three detentions? Four detentions? Five? Six? I can count all day, Judd Nelson. I can count all damn day. But it's hella worse than that, because he learns upon Crabney's entrance that "there has been a serious breach here at Medichem." Oh, yeah? What kind is that? "Someone broke into the company cafeteria and made off with a substantial amount of [Delicious] Peach Snapple [Brand Beverage]." Crabney says that the food service manager believes that it's "an inside job," and singles out Mr. Gweerin (my side!) to ask what they should do. Michael suggests getting "right on it," but Crabney bends down and comes back with the damning evidence of a Delicious Snapple Brand Beverage cap, retorting, "I think that the first thing you should all do is clean out your lockers. You're all fired." Worried glances. Minor chords. Fade to ominous black. Thirsty?