Finally, we enter the darkened Den of Porno. Its owner answers the door to find Deputy "Duh" Hansen on the porch. Deputy Duh's holding his flashlight beneath his chin, lighting his face from beneath in that manner that disturbs easily-frightened three-year-olds and absolutely no one else. He greets Porno as "Sheriff." Porno starts to welcome Hansen as "Deputy," but corrects himself. "Sheriff," Porno begins again. "What can I do for you?" What. The hell? Yes, I'm generally intoxicated well in advance of my Roswell time, but I thought Porno got his old job back months ago. Whatever. I've got my own Shannen Doherty-related continuity issues to worry about. Besides, "Deputy Duh" is easier to type than "Sheriff Shit-For-Brains." Anyway, Deputy Duh fills Porno in on the Roswell-wide blackout. Only he does so in that hee-larious manner reserved for dimwitted redneck yokel sidekicks, wondering if the current situation merits the involvement of the "Eff-Eee-Em-Ay." Porno, bless him, cuts through the crap: "Call Ralph." Deputy Duh: "Whuh?" Porno: "The electrician? Big guy -- rewired the station last spring?" A flicker of vague redneck recognition crosses Deputy Duh's face. After a bit more of the Porno's-not-the-sheriff-anymore non-plot non-point, Porno sends Deputy Duh on his way.
UFO Center. The DeLuca contingent stands off to one side while Brodek rants about Max being Zan and vice versa. If Max doesn't come clean, Brodek threatens, the CD containing evidence of the Lime Green Jell-O Shield Of Royal Alien Protection will be sent "to the FBI." Why bother? They'd just lose the damn thing, just like they lost a couple of audio cassettes regarding a certain event in Birmingham in September of 1963, and just like they lost thirty-five-hundred pages of documentation regarding a certain event in Oklahoma City in April of 1995. My So-Called Sean, in a whispered aside, wonders what Brodek's smoking. DeLucawitz fires off a snarky response, drawing the unwanted attention of her captor. Brodek stomps over to push the gun in her face. Max attempts to mediate. He fails. Like I needed to tell you that. DeLucawitz suggests that she and her brood "leave [the] aliens alone." Wrong suggestion. Brodek tosses a roll of duct tape at Max, ordering him to restrain Clan DeLuca with it. He and Tess start with My So-Called Sean while Maria takes this opportunity to reason with Brodek. "Brody, we're close," she states in the no-nonsense tone of voice she inherited from her mother. "We're friends." Brodek isn't feeling the amity at the moment. Maria's cell phone rings in the background. Brodek thrusts the automatic in Maria's direction. "Don't point that gun at my daughter," DeLucawitz icily sneers. DeLucawitz rules. Maria insists that she must answer her cell. Should she not, the person phoning her will know something's wrong. Or "wronk," as the case may be. Brodek tells Maria to keep it short and holds the opened phone to her ear. Maria grumps into the transmitter, "Hello?"













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