Roswell
Off The Menu

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Demian: F | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Off. The fricking. Map.

El Centro. Brodek, raving, pushes his guests into the back office and locks the door. Outside on the street, a drunk-with-power Deputy Duh orders about various police resources. Up in the Aerie of the Lizbot, the Ferret taps frantically on the keys of the purloined departmental laptop in a fruitless effort to reactivate the Lizbot's transmission. Isabel clacks her worry beads together while Porno paces impotently in the foreground. Down in the barricaded office, Maria asserts, "This is really bad. They always lock you in the back room before they shoot you." DeLucawitz counsels positive thinking. My So-Called Stabbing Victim wanders about, surprisingly spry for one so recently knifed in the gut. Max finds the virtual-reality helmet last seen when I was six years old. Or so it seems at this point. He supposes Brody was wearing it when it shorted out. Tess builds on this assumption, guessing that the electrical shock inadvertently activated Larek's memories. Maria patiently asks for an explanation in standard American English. Because her brain slid out of her ear to join those of the others in a quivering, useless pile of grey matter on the linoleum at some point this evening. Max exposits that Larek and others of his kind "tap into" the portion of the mind humans never use. Without Brody being aware of it, he carries with him both his own memories, which are easily accessible, as well as those of Larek, which are more difficult -- if not impossible -- to call upon. Liz realizes that the source of Brodek's erratic behavior is neurological damage. Max, therefore, can heal him. Tess needlessly reminds them all of the Tridilated Amphibian Gerbil. They have to get Brodek to shut it down before any laying on of pecstacular hands will work. Maria bravely offers to intervene with the afflicted millionaire. Heh. That makes her sound just like Anna Nicole Smith.

Aerie of the Lizbot. Kyle returns, blueprints in hand, as passing helicopters rake the scene with klieg lights. Porno scans the plans for El Centro and quickly locates the external component of the fallout shelter's lockdown mechanism in an alley behind the building. Isabel and the Ferret dart off to take care of it while Deputy Duh pulls out a battering ram to break through El Centro's glass doors. Overkill, table for one. Actually, the Cleft wants a seat of its own, so make that two. Isabel and the Ferret skulk past the action in the street to the alley. Inside the besieged "museum," Maria gently prods Brodek's memory. Does he not recall the many delightful afternoons when she plied him with pepperjack cheese? He wishes he could. Maria's eyes glisten damply in the dim light. She tells Brodek he'd make one hell of a boyfriend, and he's a terrific father as well. Again, the pointlessness of this scene in light of subsequent events overrides any sweetness contained herein. We're supposed to think Maria might yet pursue a relationship with Brody. We know otherwise. Move it along, kids. Brodek blithers on about how helpless he feels with what amounts to two different identities clashing in his head. Maria tries to soothe him with a photo she plucks from the corkboard above the desk. It's a shot of Brody cuddling his daughter, the cancer-stricken Sydney. Try as he might, he can't remember a damn thing about her. Brodek bursts into tears of frustration.

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Roswell

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