Roswell
Off The Menu

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | Grade It Now!
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Off. The fricking. Map.

Roswell's infrastructure apparently has deteriorated to the point where one overloaded socket can black out the entire town. The lights of the UFO Center flicker and darken, followed by those of the Crashdown Café and the adjoining buildings across the street. Brody wails and moans and drops to the floor. Out in the exhibition area, Max futzes with the fuse box while unnecessarily ominous horns blat on the soundtrack. Back in the office, Brody opens a filing cabinet to retrieve an automatic. He turns, hoisting the weapon and glaring, as we cut back out to the master electrician in the hall. Tess approacheth, looking too Abba-esque for words. Flat hair, parted in the middle, with a ribbed turtleneck over flared, hip-hugging jeans. Mamma mia. There she goes again. My, my. How can he resist her? As she saunters over in the beam from his flashlight, which sounds filthy but really isn't, Tess informs Max that the lights are out all across town. She then offers him the gift box she's been carrying. Pre-coital Max looks suspicious. "What's the occasion?" he asks. Tess rolls her eyes. "Does there have to be an occasion?" she shoots back, more than a little tired with his attitude. It's just a shirt she saw on sale. If he can't deal with it, she'll just give it to Kyle. For once in his life, Max realizes what an ass he's being and apologizes, thanking her for the "thoughtful" present. She smiles a bit, and the glare from the inch of Vaseline she's slathered on her lips momentarily blinds me while Max moves to activate the Center's back-up generator.

Max gets most of the lights back on as Brody stalks into the exhibition area behind him. The boy's a bit zonked from the brain-frying episode, and there's an extra-special added-bonus side-effect. Brody can remember quite a bit more than he used to about his other life as the Vessel of Larek. He accuses Max both of being an alien and of lying to him all these many months. Max makes with the "I don't know what you're talking about" noise, but Brodek's not having it. He reveals his knowledge of the Not York summit and their roles therein. Max lets out a hesitant, "Larek?" Brodek terms this "an alien name." It actually sounds Slavic to me, but hey. You're the guy with the gun. Speaking of which, the Brodek pulls said gun from his waistband and aims it at our insipid duo. I mean, "intrepid." Max stretches out his right hand, urging Brodek to put the gun down. "Tess and I aren't aliens," he insists. Brodek fires off a round by way of response. Max activates the Lime Green Jell-O Shield Of Royal Alien Protection, which deflects the bullet back into a framed photo on the wall. The dingbat then makes something approximating an "Um...whoops" face as Brodek demands, "So how do you explain that?" Credits.

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Roswell

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