The two wise men, Kyle "The Littlest Drummer Boy" Valenti and Jim "Porno" Valenti, hang out in the kitchen of The Den Of Porno. Porno's got his hand right down the middle of a tender and mild turkey ("Needs more myrrh!"), while Kyle walks around unhelpfully and launches into the following prying speech: "All this Christmas stuff is because it's been a rough year." All what Christmas stuff? The house isn't even that decorated? Does he mean the turkey? The whole damn Roswell lot is drowning in crappy Vons garland, but I guess nothing says Christmas to Kyle like watching his father fisting an oven-stuffer roaster on network TV during the family hour. Or I could just let them exposit on their own. Kyle continues, "The whole thing with Tess and you losing your job and everything...I know you wanted to make this a good Christmas for us. For me. And I just wanted to say that I appreciate that." Kyle's wrong. And horribly, horribly unloved. Porno unfists the turkey and turns to his son, trying to pretend he hasn't been standing at the kitchen counter giving that bird the ride of its life. Ew. Nasty. Fowl, indeed. Sorry. Sigh.