Roswell
Secrets And Lies (1)

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Chuck: D+ | Grade It Now!
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L.A. Story

Mr. V leans in and asks Kyle if he took care of "that little thing we talked about." IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CLASSROOM. Everyone knows what "that little thing" is, Mr. Secrets. Kyle looks at his dad like a freak as he walks off, which he is, and Liz, still filming, gets all indignant that Kyle didn't say more about Grampy to his father. She's just the kind of girl you want hanging out with your family, and further proves this by marching over, camera in hand, and talking to Mr. V about her search for the truth. He suggests she come down and film the band because "we're musicians, and musicians are always searching for the truth," at which point I wet myself and get even angrier with Mr. V. Nope, no music; Liz wants to talk about Grampy and why Mr. V hasn't been to visit in over a year, since…September 24, 2000. Mr. V gets all freaked out, tells Liz to quit filming, and demands that Kyle tell him who marked that date on Grampy's calendar, because Grampy sure as hell didn't do it himself. Kyle did it, because it makes Grampy happy, which I would wager is pretty tough to discern since Grampy's full range of activity seems to be either vegetable or behind-the-times gossip. Liz tells Mr. V about Grampy's outburst, saying, "First he grabbed me and then he said somethink." She just said "somethink." No one registers this neologism, instead asking her just what that somethink was. "They are amongus," says La Liz, emphasizing the "G" heavily and fleeing even further from the English language.

Mr. V reveals that They Are Among Us is a B-movie that was filmed in Roswell in the 1950s (after pronouncing it correctly). Apparently, the leading lady was killed during shooting, and Grampy was the sheriff at the time; he led the investigation and became convinced that an alien killed the actress. Mr. V says she was actually killed by a freak lightning strike, and Shiri Appleby works overtime -- but fails -- to convey the dawning of an epiphany.

Isabel is in her kitchen, promising Jesse over the phone that she'll tell her mother right away, just as her mother walks in the door, looking like she just got back from the drag queen funeral in LA. How convenient. Isabel hangs up the phone, and her mom immediately begins flipping out because she thinks Isabel was talking to Max. Isabel slips the wedding ring off her finger and into her pocket, and stammers, "I need to talk to you." But she can't get a word in edgewise, since her mother is relentlessly hammering away at her "my son has been gone for three weeks and I'm losing it rapidly" moment in the limelight. She asks if Max needs money, and then presses a wad of bills into Isabel's hands. Get this woman a drink. Isabel gives up.

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Roswell

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