Roswell
Significant Others

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Roswell 101

Diner. Maria fills tiny glasses of juice. She stops, smirks, and we pan over to see a guy with long hair lumber up. I think he's a cop, based on the half-hearted uniform he's wearing. Or a security guard. He kisses Maria and tells her he had an "endless" night. Yeah, he's a security guard. She asks him if he's still up for Saturday, which is their date night. Oh, the mark of an unsuccessful relationship -- having to plan one day of the week to spend some time together. LongHair asks what day it currently is. It's Thursday. She says he needs sleep. He whispers that he needs pancakes. From across the room someone shouts, "Hey, pancakes sound good! Make that two with coffee." Aliens sure can hear good. A pack of security guards walks in and sits around LongHair, continuing their orders. LongHair's happy to see these guys. Maria isn't. LongHair orders coffee, because The Guys are drinking coffee. Maria (or is it Mara?) mommies LongHair and says if he plans on sleeping, he probably shouldn't have any coffee. LongHair doesn't want to look uncool around the T-Birds, and asks for cream with his coffee. Maria walks away, extending both hands to show us, "Whatever. I hate him." The camera almost slams her in the face as she picks up some discarded plates and runs into Isabel.

Maria asks if she can help her. Isabel says she's just picking some food up. The security guards laugh, and this causes Isabel to laugh at them as if she can hear their joke. I don't know what's going on here. Maria asks if Isabel wants a drink with her order. She doesn't, but she instead asks, "If Michael proposed, would you say yes?" I'm assuming LongHair is Michael. Maria's answer is to dump both plates she's holding to the ground so that they shatter. The security guards all applaud, with LongHair -- excuse me -- Michael opening his arms like Jesus at the Last Supper ordering them to stop applauding at his woman. Maria asks Isabel if there's something she should know. Please, please tell her now. Isabel lies and says that she was just taking a survey for her sociology class. Maria exhales and says, "So, a community college wants to know if I'd marry an alien?" Hee. I bet you guys get that joke every other week on this show. Aliens sweat a lot, because this Isabel is wet all the time. Isabel mumbles something about the alien part not being an issue. She asks how long society thinks people should be together before they get married. Maria's covered in lip gloss. She asks if the couple is in true love. Isabel says they hypothetically were. Either that, or she said, "Since they had sex, they were." I can't tell because she mumbles. Maria asks if the couple knew from the first time they met that they were supposed to be together. Isabel says that they hypothetically did. Maria says that from the first second of the second date, they're free to tie the knot. Or something like that. Second man? I don't know. Cue the spit take. LongHair Michael spits orange juice across his table, and the security guards freak out. Michael smacks himself in the chest and opens his mouth wide enough that I can see his alien organs. Maria turns back to Isabel and admits that she's just a hopeless romantic. End of lengthy scene.

Okay, I guess that Gladys is a lawyer. He's walking up some stairs with an older gentleman, discussing the fact that Roswell isn't a hotbed of legal activity. The older man asks if it's a woman keeping Gladys in town. They walk into the law office to find Isabel sitting on a desk, all perched up like she wasn't sitting there posing. Dead Alex shadows her in the back near a window, reminding us that he can't be seen by anyone but Isabel because he's dead. The older gentleman hugs Isabel and asks what she's doing there. Isabel has brought them lunch. The older man hugs Isabel and calls her his little angel, so I can figure out that he's her father. And am I mistaken, or did he say that Gladys was middle-aged with two kids, or does he have two kids? Does it matter? Most likely not. Isabel complains that they screwed up the order, giving her a cucumber sub with hummus and lentil soup instead of what she ordered. Aliens are good at identifying food without having to actually look at it. Wait, is her dad an alien too? Can he see Alex standing by the window? AlienDad says he's going next door to get a chicken wing, and asks Gladys if he wants anything. Gladys points at Isabel and says, "I'll take that if you don't want it." "You're a brave, brave man," AlienDad replies. He laughs and leaves.

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Roswell

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