Roswell
Significant Others

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Roswell 101

Isabel is all gussied up, so I guess it's the next night, and now she wants advice from Max and LongHair Michael, who are playing foosball in Michael's apartment. Just imagine that Max is Joey, Michael is Chandler, and Isabel's Rachel and you can see what they're trying to do here. Isabel stops the game and says that there's someone she wants to tell about them. Jesse Ramirez, the lawyer that works for her dad. She says they've gotten close. They're involved. Michael asks if she's pregnant. Isabel indignantly says that she's not, and that they haven't even slept together. I guess they just make out all the time. "Has he seen you use your powers?" Michael asks, and I start laughing. Michael should use his powers to get that thing removed from his eyebrow. Max asks why she needs to tell him. She says she wants to tell him because she loves him and she wants him to know her. Michael shakes his head. She says it's humiliating to have to come here and ask for their permission to have an open and honest discussion with her boyfriend. Michael congratulates her on finding a great guy and then tells her to lie about herself. He walks away. "He's gonna leave, Max," he says. If she's not honest with him, he'll leave. Max asks how long they've been together. Now it's been three months. She says she knows him and this is the first time she's ever been in love and if she loses him she doesn't know what she's doing on Earth. What are they doing there on Earth? She says that Max has Liz and Michael has Maria and this is the first time she's had someone. What about Alex? Max asks what will happen if they break up. Isabel says they won't break up. Max says that right now he's not so sure it was the best idea to tell Liz that he's an alien. It's screwing up her life. Isabel says that no matter how much it screws up her life, at least they have each other and that's the most important thing. Max says they agreed not to tell anyone else about this after Alex died so that nobody else was at risk. She'll be changing Jesse's life forever, making him a part of something he never asked to be a part of.

Bowling night. Maria is pissed. Michael eats, saying he thought Maria liked the tuna melts at the bowling alley. Michael forgot to clean the sheets, too. Maria is pissed. She says it's been two years and he's still not getting it. Someone announces that the lights are on outside on a Ford Festiva. Michael acts like he's got a stomach cramp and excuses himself. Maria sits, mouth agape, and then gives her straw a blowjob.

Isabel and Jesse are on their date. She's cold, so he gives her his jacket. This show is really long, y'all. How do you do it every week? Jesse leaves to check on the wait. Isabel puts her hand in his jacket pocket and finds the tiny box with the ring. She's all shocked. I don't know how she's shocked. And I don't know why he'd give her the jacket unless he wanted her to find the ring in the pocket. Commercial. Oh, please, this show needs to end soon. My soul is screaming.

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Roswell

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