Roswell
Roswell

Episode Report Card
Djb: C+ | 576 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Departure...as if

Almost. Over. So. Very. Very. Very. Close. To. Over. So okay, END. Still in the Alienmobile and now in front of the Crashdown, Max imbues a never-heard-of "ring" with some sudden significance, telling Liz, "I always thought that when we graduate I would give you my ring." I always thought that when we graduate I would give you my ring? Another brilliantly elegant bit of phrasing from the house of Katims and Co. Jesus. "It looks like I won't graduate." Sniffle. "This is something from where I'll be." Liz can't believe that he's leaving and this is all she'll have left. Max segues right into a ditch, asking Liz if she ever slept with Kyle. Wouldn't this be a good time for Liz to tell Max about "End of the World"? Wouldn't this be a good time for Max to see another person or two before he leaves the planet forever? Wouldn't this be a great time to cut it out with the David freakin' Gray already? I mean, I like the CD. I own the CD. But I turned off the freakin' CD, and I really wish the WB would consider doing the same. Not like y'all should be taking music advice from the proud recent owner of England Dan and John Ford Coley's "Really Love To See You Tonight," but it's just how I feel about the whole David Gray thing already, okay? Max wishes things could have worked out differently. He kisses Liz with the fiery passion of exactly zero suns. Liz tells him she guesses this is really goodbye, "ending" their "time" "together" "forever" and "ever," demanding, "Just tell me one thing. Do you really love her?" Max has the response at the ready: "Not like I love you." Liz gets out of the car and walks inside. Max begins to cry. That salt water is not good for the delicately treated leather his face has become this season.

Speaking of music cues, leave the Beatles OUT of this, thanks. It's a cover of "Blackbird" (oh, you guys, remind me sometime to tell you the story of when I went to see Paul McCartney reading poetry a few weeks back…it's not so germane to the recap, but it's an important story to pass along) sung by who-knows-who-cares back inside The House Government Subsidy Built. Maria and Michael lie on the floor, post-coital, Maria noting, "I think we just took a huge step in human/alien relationships." She loves him. He loves her. Someone love shirts, please, and get one on Michael. ["God, no kidding. Hello, dictionary definition of 'sunken.'" -- Sars] He drops the bomb that he's leaving. Maria: "Like eventually, right?" Michael tells her that they're leaving in a few hours. Maria takes it in silent stride, because the braying lunatic annoyance of the average high-school girl bubbles to the fore and is skimmed right off the top within minutes of her first meaningful sexual experience. Not. Sex doesn't make you smarter and more pensive, people. She's allowed to freak out right now. Instead, she calmly asks how long they have left. "About an hour." Cool. Then he can go home, and she can pick up her glasses at Lenscrafters and her car from Meineke.

Roswell

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP