Den Of Porno. Tess lies on the couch sweating profusely, as expectant alien traitor moms are so prone to do. Porno soaks a cloth in a plastic, water-bearing container of some kind that are sold mostly to families living on TV who are trying to have a meaningful moment with an invalid in a room that isn't the bathroom. He dabs the washcloth on her head and assures her, "If anything goes wrong and you're not able to go home, you have a home here. And your child has a home here, too." But her child will have to be quarantined to the "Plot Illogic" wing of Porno County Hospital, because we've spent the better part of the last four episodes (well, except for last week, duh) learning that this son of a preacher Max can't survive in the Earth's atmosphere and, well, that's why they have to leave. I mean, I'm not trying to make a funny with the word "stillborn" in the punch line or anything, but it seems like Tess is just going to have to file Porno's gesture under "promises, empty" and move right on with her recapping day. Can't survive on Earth. Already knew that. Thanks. And so he continues, "You're part of this family now. We'll figure out what's wrong with the baby." Maybe something about it not being able to live in the Earth's atmosphere? I'm mean, I'm no TV doctor, but anyway, Porno grabs the plastic container to make with some more warm water, but before he leaves the room, Tess calls him back with, "Thanks. Dad." Ew. He turns back and flashes the yellows before she tells him, "I just wanted to see what that sounded like." Porno wants to know how it sounded. "A little too weird." But it sure beats the hell out of calling your father "Nasedo" for the first sixteen years of your life. My dad made me call him Nasedo until I was sixteen, too, and if I told you it didn't put a strain of the worst kind on our relationship, well, I would be telling you a lie.
Episode Report CardDjb: C+ | 568 USERS: B-
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