Roswell
Roswell

Episode Report Card
Djb: C+ | 568 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Departure...as if

But just as Liz accuses Max of acting too hastily, Contrivance floats through the pre-blaze duct and slams the sewing needle right into Leanna's finger, causing her to bray an anguished "ow!" and grab for a conveniently close-by tissue. Max tells Liz that she can go to the Alienmobile and think no more about this dirty business; she iterates twice, "This doesn't feel right," and takes off anyway, confident that she can make all the judgments she wants on his powers as long as she never ends up on the shit end of them. He holds his hand up and starts a small CGI fire compliments of the folks down at Industrial Light And Three-Card Monty. Liz exits through the authorized personnel door ("No discernable continuity allowed past this point!") and starts to make her way out of the building. But out of nowhere, she experiences a slo-mo flashback from five seconds ago of Leanna poking her finger with the needle and, thanks for the helpful reminder, saying "ow." Max, meanwhile, is still cooking the metal. Oh, come on. He can excise death from the human body before the opening credits of the pilot, but when it comes to starting a brush fire in a viaduct that controls the flow of actual fucking heat, it takes this agonizing, beefy-horned build-up? He cooked that heating duct using alien powers! Liz turns tail and bangs Leanna's dorm room door open, grabbing the blah-nde and forcing her out of the room in a hurry, grabbing the bloody finger tissue on her escape. Seriously, that's so unsanitary. Why doesn’t she just stuff it in her mouth and go as "Crazy Communicable Disease Girl" this year for Halloween? Upon seeing Liz enter the room, Max lets the fire go dead. Outside the room, Leanna is not the first to ask of Liz, "Are you crazy?" Liz apologizes for the "false alarm" and takes off. Around a corner, Max apprehends Liz in plain sight and demands to know what the hell what that was all about. "That girl's not an alien. She can't be the killer." Then she's what, somebody who just really hates Nelly Furtado? She saw Liz. She saw Maria. She busted out. Red-herring me all you want, Katims, but try and see if they can make just a little sense, okay? It was "I'm Like A Bird." Who leaves in the middle of that. It's the only reason people came. It's the only song she has. You wouldn't leave a Third-Eye Blind concert right in the middle of "Semi-Charmed Life" if you weren't a renegade blonde alien on the run, would you? No. No, I don't think you would. Me, I never would have shown up to begin with.

Roswell

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