Roswell
The Departure

Episode Report Card
Djb: C | 1 USERS: F
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Departure...as if

People, how good was that Buffy? God.

Liz looks through a microscope, the bloody Leanna tissue sitting, infecting, right near them. Liz posits, "If I were an alien and I was having trouble threading a needle, I'd probably use my powers." Hey, all hail the rare but correct use of the singular conditional in all its [sic]-free glory. Hail not, though, the use of logic, for Liz blathers on, "But I probably wouldn't need a needle to begin with." Well, maybe Leanna is an alien so conditioned to being watched -- as she was when she pricked her finger -- that she takes pains to act like a human no matter what befalls her? Liz doesn't think so: "They're human blood cells, take a look." Microscope close-up. They're red. Well, I'm convinced. So then maybe Leanna's a human acting as a henchman for an alien -- as Liz was doing at Las Cruces -- and she's really a dupe who has successfully convinced them that she's innocent when it's still very, very, very possible that she still really isn't. I'm just saying, her relevance was written out and put to bed a little conveniently, no? Max asks Liz who she thinks did it, and at her promising that she really doesn't have any idea, has the raging freaking gall to whisper all meaningfully, "You must have some idea who it could have been." Maybe she's just hoping to wait until she's sure you suck enough to react the exact same way you did the last time she made a suggestion. Asshole. Liz hazards that "whoever did it set up an innocent girl," and lays out a plan by which the only way they can know for sure who did it is to "start from the beginning." Max can't do that. "I don't have time." Liz doesn't know what that means, so Max spills it all out in one very creepily breathy breath: "He can't survive here. He's dying. We're leaving." Liz asks, "Where?" He responds, "We're going back." She holds up a finger (no, not the one I'm holding up right now), mimicking the same action Max performed when he first explained to Liz where he was from back in Episode One: The Phantom Interesting Plot Line. How could she be expected to remember the exact thing he did with his hand three hundred episodes ago if they can't even conjure the names of hundreds of FBI agents and ambiguous government operatives who spent months of their professional careers trying to capture and kill them? Maybe it would have been a better move if this really had been the last episode, and that moment was just acting as the series bookend. Maybe a lot of things would have been better if this were the last episode.

Liz tells Max that he "can't leave before this is resolved." Oh, but he can. Liz tries again, same words, different order: "You can't just leave us with a killer out there." Oh, but he must! King Max has no choice! She rails back in one gasp, "Not anymore but you did and then you got Tess pregnant." Um. Word. Sorry. She goes on: "I jumped off bridges for you, I broke the law for you, I trusted you!" I was so barely watching this episode when it first aired that I literally looked up from my latest copy of ym to stop idly filing my nails and airily inquire, "What was that about Jeff Bridges?" But Liz has her own bomb to drop, coming out of nowhere: "I saved myself for you!" Max rails back, "You slept with Kyle," and then stands looking very confused when Liz grits her teeth and tells Max, "Take me home." Oh, God. I just Napstered that England Dan song. Why are you looking at me like that? It's the only damn song Napster's got left.

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Roswell

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