To Have And To Hold

Episode Report Card
Djb: C | Grade It Now!
It was a teenage wedding and the old folks wished 'em well

Back in town (for Monster Joe's Truck And Tow can only be on the outskirts), Isabel is marching down the street, barking into her cell phone, and running out of wedding-oriented organizations to be mad at on the phone ("And if that wedding band doesn't play 'The Chicken Dance' correctly, I'm going to melt all of their brains!"). She vamps herself into a corner, bellowing into a cell phone prop with no batteries or written dialogue, "How do you run a business this way?" But she's stopped in her tracks when, right in front of a makeshift Main Street store brilliantly named "Jewelers" (do they sell "Jewel" CDs and merchandise, 'haps?), she runs into Bangs and Dad. Awkward pleasantries are barely exchanged, but just as Isabel begins to walk away, Bangs keeps her around with this speech: "I know that you're hurt and you're angry, and we understand, but…" Monopoly Nazi cuts his wife off because he does everything better than anyone who has ever done anything, continuing on that they love her and all, but "we can't support this." Isabel ignores them, storming off and screaming into the phone, "You listen to me. This is my wedding and no one will screw it up. No one!" See. But it's like she's really talking to her parents. The levels of meaning! The Evans parents stand there for a moment, disconsolate, before collecting themselves and buying some jewels at "Jewelers" before stopping in for a bite to eat at "Eat" and then getting gas at "Gas" to prepare for the long ride home. Such is life on the Sesame Street E-Z reader set. Set guy? Get some real sets.

Isabel sits alone at a picnic table, her first moment of cell-phone-free time since the advent of the cellular chip. She is soon to be interrupted by the arrival of Max "Here Comes The…Zzzzzzzz" Evans. Isabel doesn't bother looking up, asking, "How was Los Angeles?" Woo hoo! Shout-out! Max retorts, "Not quite what I expected." Woo hoo! Shout out part deux! Just kidding. I actually dig L.A. Not that you asked. Which you could have, y'know. Max asks how Isabel is, and she offers that she's "under a lot of pressure. Two days and counting, you know." Whatever, sister. Tell it to the Font. Isabel tells Max that she doesn't need to hear it from him, too, and that she knows that he doesn't want her to marry Jesse. Max responds that everyone is just "concerned. It's not that we don't like Jesse." Isabel tirades that she's tired of hearing that "it's that you don't know Jesse, it's how sudden this is, it's that you don't want me to make a mistake I'll regret for the rest of my life. I know. I've heard it all." Max moves next to her on the bench and parks himself well inside the radius of appropriate sisterly contact, asking her if maybe she's been hearing the same speech from so many people because the speech ain't so bullshitty after all. "Or maybe," Isabel responds all somberly, "you could trust me." She bemoans the fact that her parents aren't coming, and gets little weepy that she can say it but can't quite make herself believe it. Awwwww. But she rallies: "All that matters is that I know Jesse is the one." Cue Jesse. And there he is, bedecked in a finely-tailored suit, approaching through the healthy verdant park like the ambiguous sixth member of a United Colors of Benetton ad. Max questions, "What's this?" Isabel ambiguously responds, "This is a set-up," and even though I think I know what that means in this context, I'm not entirely sure what that means in this context. Jesse pecks Isabel hello, but seems a lot more intent on focusing a bit of attention on Max (a turn of events, I suspect, which is really just fine with Max). Touching music is touching. Jesse: "I know we don't know each other too well yet, but since we're going to be family, I thought that -- actually, Isabel and I thought that -- we could start things off on the right foot by asking you if you'd consider being my best man." Before you respond, Max, just remember that it doesn't mean what you probably think it means. Despite that disappointment, Max accepts. Isabel is happy. Jesse is…AN ALIEN! Just kidding. Or am I? Anyone here? Is this thing on?

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