Who Died And Made You King?

Episode Report Card
Djb: D+ | Grade It Now!
Countdown to Ecstasy

Max's convertible pulls up where Maria in standing in the cold, dark night. He and Liz get out of the car, and Maria starts ranting, "Okay, Michael is a freak show. He's a desert-wandering Anne Heche times a thousand, babbling about how Max should have stayed dead because he would have been a better king or something." First of all, leave the Anne Heche bashing to the professionals. And they're out there. Maria continues, "He had this weird thing on his chest. This, like, weird 'V' thing." In the dust on his car, Max draws a 'V' (that artist's rendering is really quite precise, considering Maria's directive to "draw a 'V'") with five dots and Maria nods. And then half of New York City comes along and writes "Wash me asshole" on the remaining dust, so much so that they inadvertently remove all of the dust and leave it sparklingly clean. Max somehow keeps a straight face when he notes, "That's the royal seal of Antar." Ooooooh. It's a sign that Max has "in him" (I have no idea what that means) to signify that he is the king. But when he died, it got passed along and Michael became the king. Ooooooh. That makes sense. Max tries out his powers and discovers they don't work, and Max says he needs to "figure out a way to take the seal back." Liz kind of suggests killing him, and Max kind of agrees, "I'm not gonna kill him. I'm just gonna hurt him real, real bad." He doesn't actually say that. He only kind of does.

Can't. Do. This. Any. More. Must. Recap. In. Real. Time. Starting. Now. Michael is in Isabel's apartment, where Jesse has deigned to return. Michael freaks out and holds out a hand, peeling Jesse against the wall and seething, "I told Isabel not to bring another human into the secret. But she was so in love, so Max said yes." I'm sorry, but "into the secret"? What does that even mean? Michael glances down at Jesse's briefcase and finds what appears to be a bugging device, which Jesse, in agony, tries to argue, "isn't [his]." Michael snarls, "Goodbye, Jesse." Isabel and Max run in just then and I think Maria and Liz and perhaps Kyle, and Max conjures power enough to throw Michael off of Jesse and throw everybody out. Isabel and Jesse run around the side of the house, Isabel finally agreeing that Jesse was right and that they have to get away from all of this bedlam. Anywhere? Anywhere. There's a plaaaaaaaaace for us. Somewhere a plaaaaaaaace for us. Jesse dials a number on his cell phone, and Agent Burns picks up. Jesse tells him, "I'm coming in."

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