The First Day of School

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
Nothing Happens, Again

And so, we head for Spangler's office. He is apparently the biggest boss at API, as his office is large and he's smoking up a storm in it, which also tells you that he is the most evil. His special odor-removal ashtray isn't working, though, so he's forced to smoke out an open window when the Evil Boss walks in and greets him. He asks how Washington D.C. went. "Usual cockfight," Spangler says, trying to make a boring meeting sound interesting, which it wasn't. I don't even have to see the meeting to know it was boring, because it's associated with this show, where everything is boring. Evil Boss gets down to business, talking about the various assignments he handed out this morning. Basically, it's a lot of intelligence work and analysis of different countries and stuff that makes API sound important. Finally, Evil Boss says Will is waiting outside to meet Spangler. Spangler has trouble closing his window, which makes him seem much less menacing than I'm guessing he is (although maybe he's just another weirdo and Evil Boss is truly the mastermind in charge. After all, Evil Boss is the one wearing black mock turtlenecks, the standard evildoer uniform. Then again, Spangler was smoking, which is also a sign of evilness. I just don't know! Perhaps I will find the answer in a Sudoku puzzle or something), and stammers out some orders before asking about "the crossword thing." Evil Boss says he hasn't heard anything else about it, and so Will is sent in. Evil Boss leaves Will there, whispering to him that Spangler is "in a good mood."

Will stands in the office for a few minutes and waits for Spangler to acknowledge his presence. It's a standoff of the incredibly socially awkward until finally, Spangler starts talking about how great David was, asking Will if he's up to the challenge of filling his shoes. Will claims that he is, and Spangler hands him a file with a picture of some guy named Yuri Popovich inside. He asks for the results of Will's team's research into Yuri's financials so far, and Will says they found at least seven offshore accounts with tens of millions in them so far, and it looks like Yuri facilitates sales of missing Soviet missiles between ex-KGB agents and Hezbollah. How many freaking missiles did the Soviets make already? Haven't there been like a million missing Soviet missiles at this point? Spangler says the picture of Yuri was taken yesterday in Bulgaria. They don't know who the other two men in the picture are, but I'm guessing they're producers from Syfy Channel, which films almost all of its terrible yet awesome original movies there. Spangler gives Will's team 24 hours to find out who the men are and what they're doing with Yuri. Will accepts the assignment and walks out awkwardly. So far, more than ten minutes of this show have passed and almost nothing has happened. I'm just saying.

Oh! Miranda Richardson! Remember her? From three seconds in the first episode? Well, now she's at the reading of her husband's will. She gets a share of everything, the other parts of the estate going to Tom's first wife, who is not played by Miranda Richardson so who cares, and his children. Miranda (Katherine, as it turns out, is her character's name) will also get a bunch of properties and, in a very recently-added codicil (two days before his death), one of Tom's companies and a townhouse in New York City that Katherine clearly did not know existed.

Barfing Tanya arrives in the meeting room with a cardboard box full of donuts, as per Grant's request in the last episode. I'm guessing she won't tell them that she had that box with her when she went into the bathroom stall and barfed. She gives Will a rather insincere-sounding "congrats" on his promotion and he asks her how she's doing in just the second week of her job at API. Only her second week and she's already had one boss die and a bad case of food poisoning? Tanya's life is totally more interesting than Will's. She says it's going fine, and then Miles walks in all excited because Will's guess about his secret code last episode was correct. It was an itinerary, and one belonging to British Prime Minister David Cameron. Miles was able to tell the British intelligence agents about it in time, but he complains that "they weren't very grateful." That's because the new prime minister is slashing government spending across the board! Deep cuts! Belt-tightening time, MI5! Also, English people never like to sound grateful for anything. Will ignores Miles and asks where Grant is. Miles says he's at his kid's school's career day, like what exactly is he going to tell a bunch of kids about his super-secret job? And will they be as bored to tears about it as I've been thus far? And shouldn't Grant's boss know about this and not stupid Miles?

Will decides to begin the meeting without Grant. He starts trying to make a little speech about how he's suddenly their new boss after being a co-worker, but then Grant storms in and interrupts. He is disgusted with Tanya's donuts, as she apparently got them from the wrong place. The right place is not Dunkin Donuts, however, so I can no longer trust Grant's opinion on donuts. It turns out he wants beignets, which, though Wikipedia says are "much like a donut," are not, actually, donuts, as Tanya points out. Hell yeah, Tanya! Get some backbone! Will does not exercise his new authority to chew Grant out for being a bully as well as late to the morning meeting, though. He just hands out the latest assignments and says their main focus today has to be Yuri Popovich. "Why," Grant asks with much attitude. Will has an opportunity to assert himself as the new boss right here, but instead he just stammers out that these are Spangler's orders.

Miranda Richardson gets more than one scene this episode! Hooray! She parks her car in front of her brand new Secret Townhouse and heads inside. This means there will be a lot of slow walking and many shots of the house interior accompanied by a score that takes itself way too seriously. At one point, she finds a bathrobe by the bed with her husband's initials on it and some books on the bedside table. And, um ... that's it.

Maggie and Will walk to the gross cafeteria. Maggie is apparently some kind of secretary for Will now, and says he has a meeting with some guy named Mark about "support staff issues." Will is terrified at the thought of human contact and asks if the meeting can be cancelled due to it not sounding necessary or fun. Maggie says that's a bad idea, since Mark can be very helpful to Will down the road and so making a good impression on him now is important. Ha! Good luck with that, Will. Although I guess it won't matter what Mark's first impression of Will was after he's been bored to death. Maggie says they'll be "sweeping" the offices tomorrow as they do every month. I'm guessing they mean sweeping for bugs and not, like, sweeping the floors with a broom. Although, as we saw in the first episode, they do that, too. Sweeping seems to remind Will of David, and he asks Maggie if they've given his stuff to his wife yet. Maggie says no -- it's all still in the office. Isn't that Will's office now? He couldn't have taken a look around and figured out that David's stuff was still there himself? Idiot. Will asks Maggie if she thinks it's strange that Will has to be in David's old office and not, I guess, just allowed to keep the office he had before. No, not really. When you get promoted, you get a better office. It's awesome. Maggie says she thinks it's because "Kale," a.k.a. the Evil Boss, wants Will's office to be close to his. With that, Will graciously offers to pay for Maggie's lunch, which consists of a small bowl of iceberg lettuce and possibly a crouton or two. Big spender. Maggie rather daringly says this is the closest to a lunch date they'll ever get, which then creates an awkward pause. But everything creates an awkward pause when it comes to Will, so I can't tell if that's just one of the ordinary conversational awkward pauses or a special sexual tension awkward pause.

Maggie heads off to sit by herself or with the other secretaries or whatever whil

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