Identity Crisis

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C+ | Grade It Now!
Raders Of The Lost Narc

The Rader kids are walking toward school past the football field as Brady recruits Henry for the football team, saying that there's not much to do in Bridgewater but play football. As if to belie that statement, Brady's salesgirl squeeze appears, announcing a party going on under some bridge that night. She and Hannah swap compliments on their outfits for the day, and Hannah introduces her brother. And we finally get the salesgirl's name, which is, what else, Amber. There's some discussion over who's bringing the booze for the evening. Brady asks Henry to do it, but he wisely declines. So Hannah unwisely steps up: "I got it all the time at home." Henry manages not to bust out laughing at this as Brady says, "Sweet." Henry simply agrees, "Sweet." I have to give him credit for mocking that many people with that little effort.

Back at home, Lily's out front painting the porch railing when the next-door neighbor comes over carrying a large cardboard box. Except it's not Bob this time, it's his wife -- who, amazingly, we haven't seen before. Maybe this town isn't as small as I thought. Anyway, Mary Sullivan introduces herself, and compares Lily to Martha Stewart. "But without the criminal record, I hope," she jokes. Lily finds that absolutely fucking hilarious. Mary apologizes for taking so long to stop by, "but with my back-to-back shifts at the hospital and the football kickoff barbecue, I've been just about as busy as a mosquito in a nudist colony." Golleee, aren't we flyoverlanders a hoot and a holler with our folksy humor and colorful little regionalisms? Boy howdy. Also, fuck off. Mary hands over the big box, saying it's old clothes and stuff. You know, since the new neighbors are hurricane refugees and all. "You must have lost everything," Mary says sympathetically. "Yep," Lily manages to say. "Well, except each other." Mary leaves Lily standing on the lawn holding her damp paintbrush and her big cardboard box full of guilt. Or maybe she's just dreading having to make her kids wear the God-knows-what that's inside.

Outside the school -- where suddenly it's not winter any more -- Henry is fooling around on his skateboard during lunch when Hannah comes up to him to ask if he's going to the party. "I'm not buying you the alcohol," he preempts. Hannah says that it's not about that, Henry apologizes, and Hannah admits that, yeah, it's totally about that. "Nobody's going to buy you as the cool chick," Henry says. "You're you." Of course, Henry kind of has a vested interest in Hannah not turning cool in the new town, because if she does, that means he isn't automatically cool like he was before. But Hannah just says she doesn't know who she is, since she's sixteen. "Oh, that's very deep," Henry says. And with that, Hannah isn't even the Voice of the Recapper anymore. She says she knows that Henry still has his fake license identifying him as "Andrew Wimbledon," which isn't as funny as they think it is. Henry says it's too risky under the circumstances, but Hannah isn't too worried about Andrew Wimbledon getting busted. Isn't she supposed to be the smart one?

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