Back in the coffee shop, Sam's decided that Regina is having an affair. Dena thinks it's not safe to jump to conclusions. Sam: "Yeah, maybe she's turning tricks to pay for community college." I would watch that Lifetime Television Movie, but only if it starred Tina Yothers. Sam needs a way to figure out whether Regina's actually having an affair. Andrea says that according to Oprah, there are several ways to tell if someone is having an affair. One of them is to see if the person is buying lots of new lingerie. Sam asks if Andrea really thinks she just rifles through her mothers drawers. I mean, her underwear drawers. The kind that hold underwear, not the kind that are underwear.
Cut to Sam rifling through Regina's underwear drawer, where she finds lots of new pairs of undies. Howard catches her, and she lies and tells him she was looking for cash to buy tickets to hear that hot new band, Lancelot. Howard tells her to come down to dinner. Commercials.
A strained dinner. Sam is giving Regina the third degree. Regina claims to have had a late lunch of orange roughy. Sam: "Yeah, I bet you like it roughy." Heh. Howard interrupts them to announce that there's a secret that's been kept too long. The secret? That Sam is a junkie, which Howard deduced from the fact that she was looting her mother's panties. He also knew she was lying about the band, because he looked it up on the internet and found out it didn't exist. Au contraire, mon frere! Regina thinks the drugs must explain Sam's memory loss. Sam notes that she was hit by a car. Howard: "Well, that's what happens when you don't pay your dealer." Sam is about to stomp off, and then remembers her manners, returning to ask permission to be excused. Regina examines her plate to make sure she's eaten enough before letting her leave.
Hotel room. Todd is sitting there, shirtless, as Sam tells him about her suspicions of Regina. She mentions her mother's panties, and Todd decides it would be a good time to put on his shirt. Sam tries to get down to business, but she's too distracted to think about sex. Todd is kind of distracted that he's paying $300 for a hotel room that's not getting any use. Sam takes off, grabbing a giant Toblerone bar on the way out.













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