Samantha Who?
The Birthday

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A Very Merry Un-Birthday To You

Well, my DVR didn't want to record this episode and then I had to watch it in non-HD. I know! So I have no recording of the first two minutes, and now my eyes feel like somebody rubbed them with sandpaper. I blame Comcast.

So, in the first few unrecorded minutes, Sam and Todd make out in the military history section of a bookstore. They're hiding away back there because Todd has still not broken up with Chloe. Sam tells Todd that she's not fooling around with him until he stages his blitzkrieg on Chloe's happiness. He tells her that he's really going to do it, because he wants to be with Sam on her birthday. Sam: "It's my birthday?"

In the coffee shop, Sam and Dena talk about the birthday. Regina is going to throw Sam a party, and Sam wants Dena to make up the guest list. Except Dena can only think of herself, Andrea, Regina, Todd, and Sam as guests. I'm very, very sad that she didn't think to invite Chase. Dena asks what Sam wants for a present, and Sam tells her that her life is so full of family and friends that she doesn't want anything. If I were her, I'd ask for a job. She mentions that she'll have a boyfriend as soon as Todd dumps crazy, unstable, slightly insane Chloe. And then Sam decides maybe it would be a better idea for her not to sit with her back to the door. Andrea joins them and tells Sam that they don't do birthdays; birthdays are reserved for the spa, where they get wrapped in seaweed and have all the toxins sucked out of their asses. Sam sees Todd and Chloe outside, and she hides so she can witness the dumping without Chloe seeing her. But instead of dumping, she sees them making out. Commercials.

And now we're back in the recording. Sam enters Todd's apartment. He's surprised to see her, but she tells him she just wanted to see how the breakup went. Todd lies that it went well, and Sam lets him know that he's busted. Sam tells him, "The longer you keep your girlfriend, the longer I'm just a boyfriend-stealing whore." Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but now that you mention it.... Todd tells her that Chloe's aunt is sick, and he didn't want to break up with her when she was in such a low spot. Sam thinks it would be the perfect time for them to break up, because Chloe is sure to meet some eligible man of her own at the hospital visiting her aunt. Todd tells her that he really doesn't think Chloe is looking to meet men. Well, that's because she still thinks she has a boyfriend. Sam: "You are putting Chloe's feelings before mine because she is feeling vulnerable. But you know what, you don't think that I'm feeling vulnerable? I am turning one." She storms out.

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Samantha Who?

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