There's a knock on the door of the Newly home. Regina opens the door and finds Andrea standing there. Regina calls out to Howard: "Oh, look, it's Andrea. Honey, do we need any drinking done?" Since they don't she suggests that Andrea try again next week. Andrea enters, and they exchange some more catty insults. Andrea is there to tell Regina that there's no way they're having Sam's birthday party out in the suburbs -- it's going to be at Andrea's place on Saturday night. Regina doesn't want to give in, but Howard enters the room and tells Regina that as much as he loves her parties where you do things like make your own placemat, it may be that Sam would like "a real city party, you know, like you see in the magazines where celebrities show up. Like ESPN sideline reporter Suzy Kolber." Heh. Regina gives in, but only if she can bring the food: "I mean, who doesn't love ambrosia salad?"
Sam and Dena are at the café again, sitting at a sidewalk table. They have really got to get these people into some new settings. Sam is complaining about Todd, and suggests that they get a Todd-shaped piñata for the party. Dena tells Sam that she's called 21 people to invite them to the party, and they all have jury duty. On a Saturday night. Sam tries to explain that they're all lying because they don't want to come to her party, and then she has a flashback.
Bad Sam and Drunk Andrea sit at the bar. Andrea doesn't want to go to some guy's house because she can tell that he's going to break up with her. Sam tells her that he doesn't have the right to break up with her since her favorite cousin is in the hospital. The plan is to make up a cousin, go to the hospital and pick a name of a real sick person, and then place a picture of Andrea on the table next to the sick person in case the dude tries to pay a respectful visit. Sam tells Andrea that this way, she can guarantee herself a boyfriend through Valentine's Day. Andrea is impressed, and desires to study at the feet of Sam. And then two frat boy types send drinks over.
Back in the present, Sam has realized that Chloe is making up this sick aunt. She intends to reveal the fraud, leaving Todd free to dump Chloe in time for Sam's birthday.
Sam goes to the hospital. In a rather unfunny scene, she tries to steal the patient list and, when she gets caught, tells the nurse she's there to see her Aunt Wendy... whose last name Sam does not know. When you start to be as stupid as Homer Simpson, it's time to call it a day. The nurse says that there is no Wendy, but then calls out to tell Sam that there is a Gwendolyn.