Sam walks into her office and finds Funk sitting at her desk. He tells her, "Samantha Newly, the day we've been waiting for has finally arrived." He pulls a jewelry box out of his jacket pocket, opens it, and slides it across the desk. The box contains a ring with a diamond the size of Manhattan. Funk: "Will you marry me?" Sam: "Scurvy." Credits.
We return right where we left off. Funk asks Sam if she's going to try on the ring. She says no, and then pounces on the ring to try it on for just a second. It's almost too heavy for her wee bony frame to hold up. Funk moves in for a post-proposal kiss, and Sam hastily backs away from him: "You think you can just propose and then touch me?" He establishes that he's leaving his wife, and that Sam is no longer with Todd. And then Sam confesses to the amnesia. Funk thinks this is Sam's ploy to press for a larger ring. Sam: "No, that's not... Wait, they make them bigger?" Funk admires that Sam's not an easy sell. Well, not an easy sell, maybe. She gives him more info about the accident and the coma, and he finally believes her. She tells him that since she can't remember him, she really shouldn't marry him. But she does offer up Andrea as a replacement bride. Funk doesn't appear receptive, so Sam offers to leave him alone. She walks out, and then quickly runs back in to return the zillion-dollar diamond.
Sam is at the dog park with Dena and her enormous dogs. They're sitting on a bench (Sam and Dena, I mean. The dogs are on the ground) and Sam has just finished telling Dena what happened, concluding by noting that Andrea would kill Sam if she knew Sam had dated Funk. Dena thinks that a woman scorned makes a great antagonist. Sam asks her what she's talking about; it seems that Dena is taking an online course on how to write a romance novel. Her heroine is a "beautiful blonde amnesiac with a dark past and an uncertain future." Sam starts to share her Todd problems, and Dena picks up a little pad and starts taking notes. She asks Sam if she's the kind of heroine who will risk everything to win the love of the stable boy, or the kind who "just gives up and throws herself on some rocks." Sam thinks that there's nothing she can do since Todd won't return her phone calls. Dena: "Rocks." Sam grabs her pen and throws it, telling the dogs to go fetch. They just sit there, and Dena tells Sam that they've had a rough day.
Sam is standing in line at the coffee shop. She's on her phone leaving another message for Todd, telling him that he can ignore her all he wants, but she's stalked enough men to have already memorized Todd's routine. In particular, she tells him that she knows exactly when she can find him at the coffee shop buying a cinnamon roll. And then the camera pulls out and we see that Todd is standing directly in front of her. He turns around and tells her that she wins, asking her to tell him what she wants. She excuses herself for a second to end her call. What a polite young woman. He grabs his cinnamon roll and starts to walk away. She follows, and tells him that she wants him to know why she tried to sabotage his relationship with Chloe: "It's because I have these feelings...." Todd tells her not to say it, and she tells him that he doesn't even know what she was going to say. He insists that he does, and she proves him wrong by telling him that she has feelings about the Middle East, which he will never get a chance to hear. He tells her that his feelings are that he's with Chloe and nothing Sam can say will do anything but make everyone feel bad.