Samantha Who?
The Boss

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The Boss

It's another morning staff meeting. Funk is presiding, spraying the assembled staff with business platitudes. Sam can't stop looking at him and sucking her pen, and she laughs uproariously at one of his bad jokes. Andrea, no stranger to love-drunk laughter, looks at her with rage. Sam looks guilty.

In the incredibly well-appointed women's restroom, Sam and her little red shoes are sitting on an ottoman. Andrea bursts in and asks her what the hell is going on with Funk. Andrea's dress, by the way, has one strap over her left shoulder, and the other strap seems to wrapped around her right breast. It's a lot of look. Andrea accuses Sam of trying to steal Funk, and Sam responds that she kept mentioning Andrea's name to him all night long. Andrea is upset when she hears that Sam spent the night with him, and even more upset upon hearing that Funk met her parents. You can imagine how she feels when she learns that Funk proposed to Sam. Sam disclaims any responsibility for what Bad Sam did, including sneaking around behind Andrea's back with Funk. But Andrea is pissed that Bad Sam would have done that; it makes her question the basis of their shallow, vapid friendship. Andrea demands that Sam say that she has no feelings for Funk. Sam hesitates, and Andrea accuses her anew of trying to steal him. She tells Sam, "That's it, I'm done. I'm done with you, and I'm done with Funk. If he doesn't want me, it is his loss." Sam can't believe that Andrea is really done with her. Andrea affirms that she is; in fact, she hates Sam, and her cute little red shoes (which appear to be wearing little red bibs). Commercials.

Sam and Dena are at the coffee shop. As she is wont to do, Sam is telling Dena everything we just saw in the previous scene. She's afraid her friendship with Andrea is over. Dena, in a crappy British accent: "Oh, pish posh. Contretemps and discord are always to be expected between friends with fiery natures." Sam hopes that Dena will eventually stop talking like that. Dena: "One does hope so." And then a chauffeur with a genuine British accent interrupts them, asking if she's Miss Newly. Sam: "Yes, it is I. I mean, yes, I am." It turns out that Funk is in his car outside, and he's wondering if Sam would care to join him. Dena busily starts taking notes. Sam: "Well, tell him thank you very much, but the answer is no, I would not care to join him. I would care for him to leave me alone, and that's what I would care for." Driver thanks her for her time, and totally cruises Dena on his way back to the car. Dena, you lusty wench -- go for it! Instead, Dena reads what she just wrote: "Abandoning all chance of happiness, the heroine rebuffed the advances of the mysterious prince, even though there was no hope with the stable boy and her evil friend, Androgyna, had been trampled by oxen." Oh, Dena -- I will totally buy your book. Hearing her life described like this inspires Sam to go for the gusto; she thinks she should forget Todd and Andrea and go for it with Funk. Dena: "And with that, the heroine ran like the wind to the prince's chariot." Sam asks her, "Please don't write what I do before I do it. It's just creepy." Dena, loudly: "And still she ran!" And so she does.

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Samantha Who?

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