Samantha Who?
The Break-Up

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The Break-Up

Office elevator. Andrea is telling Sam (who has two cups of coffee in her hands) that she's not in love -- she's just confused by the thrill of sex. Sam won't listen to her, and hands a cup of coffee to Tracy as she passes her desk. (Tracy: "Thanks, sweetie." Heh.) Andrea continues to explain to Sam how all people think they're in love the first time they have sex. Andrea finds time in her rant to ask if she really just saw Sam bring coffee to her own secretary. Just then, Tracy pops in to tell Sam that she's sneaking out to buy some boots. Sam tells her to have fun, and Andrea is totally nonplussed: "Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but parts of this new Sam make me really hate you." Sam cuts her off to ask her whether she realized there was a website where you could send someone a little bear. Andrea runs away from the unironic cuteness as Sam threatens to send her a bear. I almost think that was a Bad Sam sighting.

Eddie Cibrian is lying in bed on his stomach, with the top of the sheet just resting at the curve where his back turns into his butt. I could live in that curve. He's woken up by the sound of Sam opening and closing drawers. She's realized that he has a drawer that's practically unused, what with being full of nothing but socks. And then she invites herself into his drawers. I mean, into his drawer, singular -- she suggests that he give her a drawer. Oh, Sam. She leaves to pick out a coffee mug in the kitchen, and Kevin gets a panicked look in his eye.

Todd's apartment. Sam is stuffing a suitcase full of clothes when Todd sneaks up behind her again and startles her. He asks if she's finally getting her clothes, but this tiny suitcase is only big enough to hold some of them. Todd is surprised to hear that Sam already has a drawer at Kevin's. He thinks he should give her some advice as a friend, since they decided to be friends; Sam interrupts to tell him, "I do think on some level we were just saying that to keep from being hurt." Todd: "I wasn't." Sam, much too quickly: "Neither was I." Anyway, Todd thinks things are moving too fast with Kevin, and he's worried that Sam is going to smother him -- perhaps literally, given her history. Sam rejects this wisdom and staggers off with the overstuffed suitcase, rejecting the further sound advice that she use the wheels on the suitcase.

And now we're at a bar, where Kevin breaks up with Sam. Which is totally obvious to everyone watching the scene, but absolutely not obvious to Sam, who has forgotten everything she ever knew about human interaction. Commercials.

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Samantha Who?

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