So, there's Dena, sitting in her little red car. And then Sam gets in the car. Holding a big-ass rifle. Sam: "Drive." Credits. Heh.
Dena is surprised to find the barrel of the gun hovering near her face, and tells Sam that whatever she did, they can work it out. Sam's only goal is to get to the store before it closes. Dena seems ready to go along with robbing a store, provided there's no kind of spree. Not even the candy Spree, Dena? And these two would make an awesome Thelma and Louise. But Sam tells her that the only crime she committed was trying to get close to her father. I think Al Capone tried to use that excuse. As they drive, the car starts to shimmy, and Dena tells Sam that since her car can't go over fifty, they'll have lots of time to talk. Just in case Sam has a nice, twenty-two-minute story she wants to tell.
A title tells us it's three days earlier. Sam and her parents are in an ice-cream parlor, where Sam is tasting samples of everything, trying to figure out what her favorite flavor is. The camera pans over the ice-cream case. There's one tub that's full of something that's fluorescent green, pink, and orange. What is that? It's like Neapolitan, if Naples were hit with a small atomic bomb. In her little notebook, Sam carefully notes that mint chocolate chip has skyrocketed to the number one position. Regina's surprised that Howard still looks happy after spending an hour watching Sam eat ice cream, but hunting season starts tomorrow, so he really isn't bothered by anything. Just when Sam thinks she has the ice cream nailed down, she realizes that there's such a thing as frozen yogurt, and she asks what it is. I'm not sure what it is, but I do know that it's cursed, comes with a free topping, and that the topping contains sodium benzoate. Before Sam can learn any of these things for herself, the Go-Go's "We Got the Beat" starts to play on the radio, and she breaks down in tears. As Sam cries about the sad, sad song, Regina takes her hand and pulls her out of the shop.
It's still three days ago, and Sam is...walking down the sidewalk with Todd, telling him about the crying incident? There's no real reason for them to be together (since he dumped her, and is apparently dating another woman already), but I'd rather have the show give me no reason for their scenes together than a bad one, so this is some progress. Todd asks her what the song was, and she tells him she didn't catch the words. Um, doesn't that song only have about four words? She's trying to figure out what the song meant, and asks him if it might have been their song. Todd: "We didn't have a song. Every time I suggested one, you laughed at me and asked if I was on my period." Are you really supposed to suggest a song? Shouldn't it be a song that is playing at some important moment and has some emotional resonance? Sam calls herself a bad girlfriend, and expresses a fond hope that Todd is the only guy she was mean to. And just then a guy sees her, freaks out, and runs away screaming, dropping groceries all the way. Todd guesses that he was not, in fact, the only man she abused as Sam takes off running after the man, trying to find out who he is. He yells back that she's supposed to stay a thousand feet away. Todd: "Restraining order. Why didn't I think of that?" It's still not too late, Todd. Anyway, the guy is clearly not stopping, so Sam picks up an orange that he dropped, throws it, and knocks him off his feet. Leaving his groceries and an innocent bystander on the sidewalk, he gets up and runs off. Commercials.