Samantha Who?
The Restraining Order

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The Restraining Order

In the driveway, Sam and her rifle sneak into the back seat of a car and hide. Howard walks out of the house, puts his gear in the trunk, gets in the car, and backs out. And just as I'm calling bullshit on him not seeing her as he turns around to back out, we see that Sam's hiding in the back of the wrong car. And maybe it's just because my righteous critical rage was interrupted, but I laughed out loud at that gag.

Sam has dragged Regina out of bed and is insisting that she take her to where Howard hunts. Regina thinks Sam will shoot her own leg off, but Sam claims that she's prepared, having bought a pretty new rifle and practiced at the shooting range. Not to mention watching The Deer Hunter, "which really wasn't very helpful at all. Have you heard of Vietnam? Do people know about that?" She did all that since leaving Andrea at the bar the night before? (Also, I'm glad to see that Sam still doesn't have her impulsive shopping under control.) Regina tries to dissuade Sam, but Sam really wants to connect with Howard. Regina: "You want to connect with someone? I'm right here. Connect with me." Sam thinks they connect enough, especially in light of the unfunny and highly doubtful incident in which Regina tried to do naked Tai Chi with Sam. Sam tells Regina that it's a one-hour drive to the lake where Howard hunts, and that she'll let Regina talk about whatever she wants to on the drive. Regina's not convinced, until she realizes the lake is near the outlet mall.

Sam and her camo and her bright orange safety vest run through the forest to Howard's hunting blind, which is really more of a cabin and not actually a blind at all. Howard's upset, but agrees to let Sam hunt with him. And of course, after about five seconds of being quiet and waiting for a deer, she starts talking and won't shut up. She yells at him for never talking to her or sharing a single feeling with her. And then her phone rings. It's Regina, calling to ask Sam and Howard questions about the clothes she wants to buy for them. Sam hangs up, the fight continues, and Sam runs off into the woods, yelling that she doesn't need anything from any man. When a shot rings out, she runs back to the blind for the one thing she does need -- her orange safety vest.

Dena's car has finally arrived at Cappy's sporting goods, where Sam is planning to return the pretty little rifle. But as she stands on the sidewalk ranting about how horrible all men are, she runs into Nathan. He sees his stalker with a rifle, screams, and runs. As everyone hits the deck, we hear distant sirens. Commercials.

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Samantha Who?

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