Samantha's theory that "if it happens, it happens" breaks down in the face of encroaching horniness. She calls Andrea to tell her as much. "It's 4:00 AM," protests Andrea, like this is the first time she's ever picked up the phone at 4:00 AM and heard the words "I'm horny." Part of Andrea's annoyance may be due to the fact that there is some dude asleep in her bed.
And now, in comes Regina to sleep with Samantha, since her husband is driving her crazy being all upset over the Bob McNally business. This puts something of a crimp in the candid sex chat with Andrea, but Sam does her best, until she finds out her mother knows Sam was seventeen when she got happy-touched for the very first time. "If you didn't want me to read your diary, you shouldn't have left it out," reasons Regina, who adds that she didn't tell Sam's father, as it would have killed him. "You didn't tell me a lot of things!" we hear him shout, through the wall. Snicker. Andrea, hearing all the goings-on, says it's no wonder Sam's got issues. She might be on to something. Anyway, Andrea says Sam should come out with her tomorrow night, and it'll all come back to her. Uh, so to speak. It's just like riding a bike, after all. Sam gets an idea.
Sam's old bike, with basket and banana seat, seems to have survived her parents' recent purge, so Samantha wheels it out for a ride. Seriously, go for the washing machine instead. Spin cycle. Samantha attempts to ride her bike at four in the morning and falls off. She shouldn't look so worried. There's not much chance of her falling off anything when she has sex for the first time again. And if she does fall off, then things are probably going pretty well.
Clubbing time comes again, and Sam's really worried. "What guy wants some clueless bimbo who doesn't know right from wrong in the bedroom?" "You have so much to learn," says Andrea. Wait a minute, "right from wrong"? Is Samantha a sociopath? That could be a pretty good show. Sam's even worried about kissing, because she doesn't know if she's good at it. Andrea assures Sam she is, which makes Samantha suspicious of how Andrea knows this. "We were at a party, they offered us $300, what are you going to do?" I guess "refusing to make out for money" wasn't an option for a couple of women with good jobs at a real estate firm.
Inside, Andrea tries to teach Samantha how to smile, and how to spin around on a barstool as potential suitors approach. Sam does neither particularly well, and Andrea throws in the towel immediately, saying Sam's being a dork, and she doesn't "hang out with those." So you can imagine her mood not at all improving when a giddy Dena shows up to complete the girls' night out. She claims it's a coincidence, but I kind of like the implication that Sam invited Dena without Andrea's knowledge or permission, having already learned that Andrea is very unpleasant. Andrea and Dena bond somewhat, though, over Sam's reluctance to get out there. Andrea tells Dena that Sam's worried about her kissing, and Dena offers to practice with her like they used to, up until the age of thirteen. She also carefully explains that she is not, in fact, a lesbian, although she does consider sexuality to be a "continuum."