Samantha Who?
The Virgin

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The Virgin

Andrea and Sam try the barstool spin one more time, only to come face to face with Regina, who's shown up to atone for the terrible sex talk they had earlier, and to be supportive. "Let's get my little girl laid!" she says. Sam, amnesia and all, figures this is bad. Yeah. I mean, unless Gene Simmons is at the bar, the mother-daughter tag-team isn't going to work for a lot of guys. Andrea laments going out with "a dork, her mother, and her stalker," calling it a "special needs field trip." Or a Peter Greenaway film. It's really the likeability of all the actresses that makes this scene much less annoying than I think it sounds.

Regina picks out a young man, and doesn't seem to understand why it's not a plus for Samantha that he "looks like Dad." Andrea irritatedly says that as the best friend, she's better qualified to find a man for Samantha. "That's right; I forgot you've had them all," snaps Regina. Sam's had enough of the bickering, and says since it's so important to them all, she's just going to do it. She turns around and starts offering herself up to the crowd. Dena helpfully brings over a nice, clean-cut young man named Jason, and Sam sticks her tongue down his throat. "Don't wait up," she tells the pussy posse.

We're in Jason's apartment. Here are some things that may indicate women like Samantha are rarely there: football mug, Incubus poster, an unseen always-wasted roommate who loudly plays Guitar Hero. It can't come to much of a surprise to anyway when Jason turns out to be a virgin, and not the actually-way-not-a-virgin-just-hasn't-had-sex-since-amnesia kind like Samantha is. "It was my friends' idea to take me out tonight to get me laid. Sorry. Being pressured to have sex. How lame is that?" he says. Yeah, that never happens. He offers to play the drums for her: "Some girls like that." Well, from what you've said, it appears not that many do, Jason. Sam now attempts to extricate herself from the responsibilities of deflowering Jason, saying she shouldn't be his first. "Why not? Because you're old?" says Jason, who, if he keeps it up, is going to make Andy Stitzer look like Hugh Hefner. Sam tells Jason that his first time shouldn't be with a stranger; it should be with someone who cares about him, with whom he has history...

And she flashes back to old pre-amnesia Samantha, with longer, straighter hair and more eyeliner, making out with Todd in the hallway outside his apartment the night they first had sex. She wants to do it in the hall. Todd's reluctant, not just about the possibility of really freaking out his neighbours but at the prospect of sleeping with Samantha, because he really likes her, and if she doesn't feel the same way, it's going to be tougher, and blah-blah-blah. Pre-amnesia Sam calls him "such a girl" before saying "okay," which is good enough for Todd. It's worth noting here that pre-amnesia Sam looks amazing. They keep making out and head inside. "That speech? Better not be the longest thing you do tonight," says Sam.

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Samantha Who?

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