Back in the virgin's apartment, Jason's concerned that the unspeaking Sam may have had a stroke, like his grandmother. Jason, maybe you can just cryogenically freeze your penis, and someday, maybe science will have found a use for it. Sam hustles out the door, telling Jason to wait for the right person, as she's sure he's out there. "'He'?" says Jason. "She. Whatever. I don't judge," says Sam.
It's off to Todd's for a good old-fashioned booty call. He answers the door and she stomps in to babble incoherently about connection and memories and how they clearly started off well and whatnot. Then she's interrupted by some brunette who comes out asking Todd who was at the door. "Just Sam," he says! Samantha and the new woman awkwardly say "hi" to each other, and we go to commercial with a musical stinger that features the lyric "I'm not a virgin anymore."
"What's going on?" asks Sam, whose amnesia seems to have erased the concept of "breaking up." Todd introduces Julia, who says she's going to go start the movie. Coincidentally, they've rented Booty Call. No, they haven't. Pootie Tang, actually. Samantha is downright rude to Julia, who either doesn't notice or elects to let it go. Then Sam gets into an annoying argument with a confused Todd, an argument that does its best to erase a lot of the sympathy I have for Samantha. Fortunately, she leaves before it's all gone. On her way out, she informs Frank that she's not a virgin anymore. Once she's gone, he checks his watch and says, "And apparently, not a cuddler."
Samantha arrives home to find that once again, the only person in her bed is, unfortunately, her mother. Regina apologizes for showing up at the bar and says she just wanted them to be better at talking about stuff. Sam accepts the apology, but still asks her mom never to go there again. Fair enough. Sam snuggles into her mother's shoulder and says nothing happened with Jason. Regina pretends to be sorry for a moment, before admitting she's not. "Like it or not, you'll always be my little girl," she says, adding that she wants Samantha to save herself for someone special. "Why don't you just throw yourself at a shoe salesman?" yells her dad through the wall, prompting me to laugh out loud yet again. Regina yells back that she only did that so she wouldn't be so useless when she met the man she loved. Sam tries to help out by yelling at her father that tonight, Regina tried to set her up with a man who looked like him. This prompts him to actually enter the bedroom. "Is that true?" he says? And smiles. And Regina smiles.