Elliot announces to everyone that Kelso's birthday party will be tomorrow. Ted claims he's not going to the party, and that's it. Elliot says that's fine, and Ted caves and says he'll go, and he'll also pick up the cake and decorations. Elliot thinks they need 58 candles, but others pipe up to say that Kelso seems to turn 58 every year. Elliot wants someone to help her find out Kelso's real age. Janitor slides into the screen and says, "You rang?" He giggles that he always wanted to say that, but nothing actually rang. But he does hear bells in his head. But now they're gone. Nope, back. Gone. Back....now they're gone. Now they're back. This goes on for a while.
Turk announces he has made plans for his and JD's big goofing-off day. Doesn't that kind of go against the whole point of goofing off? Turk wants to go old school: "World's Most Giant Black Doctor." JD though they were going to save that for Black History Month or to scare racists. Turk says a patient asked him to finish his fried chicken today. Turk ate it, but he was offended. Also, Turk made a giant stethoscope, which the guys show Carla, who pretends like she loves it, but she really rolls her eyes at it.
Carla gives Dr. Cox Josh's biopsy results. Cox barely glances at the folder before telling Josh's parents that the kid has "hairy-cell leukemia." Dr. Cox says it's treatable, and he's willing to talk to Josh about it. The parents reveal that they've decided not to tell Josh that he has cancer. Cox is stunned.
Elliot, Janitor, and Ted plot to figure out Kelso's age. Ted suggests lining up a hundred people from age 1 to 100, and then figuring out where Kelso fits in. Janitor suggests that they cut off Kelso's legs and count the rings. Elliot realizes she's not going to get any help from these two, until Janitor points out that he has keys to the personnel files.
Rex is still following Hooch around, and Hooch threatens to burn him. Carla laughs that Hooch is crazy. Cox still can't believe that Josh's parents won't tell him about his disease, especially since Josh is more mature than most of the doctors in the hospital. JD runs in with a giant clipboard, and Cox snarks, "Exhibit A. Through Z." JD takes out a giant pencil and pretends to take notes on Cox's advice. Cox wants JD to write this down: "I, John Dorian, am a ridiculous, thirty-two year old overgrown infant." Cox reminds JD that two weeks ago, he was asking everyone if he needed to grow up, and Cox thought maybe becoming a father would be an epiphany. Cox concludes with sarcarsm, "Way to go. We are all super-proud of you."