Dan thinks JD needs cheering up, so he reveals that he bought JD a new hybrid car. JD is more confused than happy.
Elliot tells her patient, Robyn, that she's malnourished. Robyn protests that she eats, and Elliot runs down all the symptoms and causes. Hey, one of my best friends in college collapsed from malnutrition. Twice. The second time, an ambulance came and they strapped him to the board and everything. He's fine, now. And he was not a heavy exerciser or anything -- just had a really fast metabolism and was an impoverished college student. As Elliot explains the diagnosis, Cox creeps in behind her and listens in. Elliot tells Robyn to gain some weight. Cox picks Elliot up and carries her out of the room. In the hall, he explains that Elliot is the same height as her patient; he wonders how her weight compares. Elliot starts screeching.
Dan tells JD that he bought the car so that JD could visit his kid and not have to drive the scooter. JD refuses the gift, but then takes an ashtray and tries to smash the windshield. It bounces off.
Cox weighs himself holding Elliot, and then figures out that she weighs a pound less than her malnourished patient does. Cox tells Elliot that she's the hypocrite.
JD is still trying to smash the windshield, with no luck. Dan wants to know what the problem is. JD pauses, but then goes for it and tells Dan that he's supposed to be the loser brother, not JD. He finally succeeds in smashing the windshield. Dan tells JD to grow up. JD's environmental punishment for hurting a hybrid car? Janitor smashes an aluminum can on his forehead.
Back in the hospital, JD VOs that he's not speaking to his brother. In response, Dan has become a character he calls "The Constant Questioner." I'm sure you can guess what that consists of.
Dr. Cox announces Mattel's newest creation: Hypocrite Barbie. Elliot grabs him and drags him into Robyn's room, where she asks Robyn if they should gain a few pounds together. Robyn agrees, and tells Dr. Cox he has crazy eyes.
Janitor chastises Carla for washing her hands so often. Carla explains that she just changed an old guy's diaper and now she's going to eat a muffin. Ted walks by and says that he doesn't want to see what's next, because he thinks Carla's punishment is going to be drinking mop water. Janitor tells Carla that he won't make her do it, but that they have to pretend that he did. JD walks over and complains that Dan told him he needs to grow up. He asks if Carla thinks that too. JD VO explains that "The Hedging Noise Symphony" followed, which consists of quick cuts of various hospital staffers making "um" and "er" noises set to (I think) Bizet's Carmen. On first viewing, I paused it here and turned to my husband and said, "How the fuck am I supposed to weecap that?" It was pretty genius, though.