Secret Diary of a Call Girl

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | Grade It Now!
Does the Doctor Know About This?

In Belle's flat, the awkward young man from before is sitting awkwardly. Belle strolls in, in jeans, no makeup, and carrying two beers. It appears that she has poached him from Rachel and is acting embarrassed about not being primped up. The client asks why she's wearing shoes in her flat, and she guesses that he's into feet. Before she can get out of the room and start enacting all those rules from before, they're writhing around on the couch gasping. Her cell phone rings, and I assume it's the work one because she has to say "No problem" in it several times to emphasize that everything's okay.

Later, in what I believe is referred to as "the afterglow," the client is rubbing Belle's shoulders and talking about his ex-girlfriend, who is now pregnant. They're talking aimlessly about this and that when Belle accidentally mentions "Hannah", her real name. Gasp! Now she's in bed alone, calling his voicemail but not leaving a message and rolling around in her underwear. See, I knew there was going to be some of that! After smoking in slow motion for awhile, she calls Stephanie (the agent has a name!) to instruct her to give Daniel to someone else next time. In a notebook, she writes "Danger. Daniel - tall, posh, sweet, twenties. Wants Hannah, not Belle."

Then Sideburns comes back in, and Belle brings out a saddle. The next scene shows her (in lacy black bikini) riding him (in saddle and some horse... stuff) around the bed. He seems to be having a good time. So does she, for that matter. She voice-overs that her perfect partner is one where she never has to be herself. And we're done, except for some random clips from next week.

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Montykins has never patronized a prostitute, although he did once get propositioned by a very insistent one at the San Diego Comic Convention. Monty also watches a lot of movies, which he writes about on Monty on Movies. You can email him at if that's your idea of a good time.

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Secret Diary of a Call Girl




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