Secret Diary of a Call Girl

Episode Report Card
Montykins: B- | 1322 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Okay, I've checked last week's episode, and the screenshot includes both "A-Levels" and "Anal Play". I guess "doing anal" is different from "anal play", but I don't see why you need a code word for one of them. The agent claims that she'll keep Belle safe and will be like a best friend. "A best friend who takes 40% and doesn't tell you her real name," she clarifies. We flash-forward back to the present, and Belle is insulting Ben's napkin dove. He acts like it doesn't hurt, but I think he's just acting strong. No guy likes being told that he has an inadequate napkin dove.

Ben can't get Belle to admit that she was scared, but he does discover that she's relaxing her client standards due to receiving bad reviews. I would think it wouldn't be that hard to log in and make a lot of phony good reviews. I mean, I can't imagine that the prostitute review sites have really stellar fact-checking departments. Anyway, Ben thinks she should try living like the normal people do. Belle thinks "normal people" sound pretty dull, but Ben bets her a tenner that she won't miss selling her body.

So we see her sitting in a park watching children play. She sees a frantic businessman on the phone, a harried woman on the phone, a man getting a parking ticket and yelling at a policeman, and decides that normal people are, in fact, boring. And they lead boring lives. She calls Ben and tries to get him to go have lunch with her, but he has to talk to a vodka supplier. She makes another call, and because she knows we can't see her phone from out here, she whispers to the camera, "It's my sister."

Her sister Jackie also cannot go out for lunch, because she has a mother and baby group, which will apparently involve a jamboree of some sort. Oh boy! So Belle misses work. She goes to a kitchen store of some sort, which has some expensive-looking plates and a crème brûlée torch. Man, I got one of those two weeks ago and you would not believe how may things I have brûléed since then. Tim, the man who works at the kitchen store, suggests elegant crockery as an ideal wedding gift. Or perhaps a pointless gadget? Vanessa once bought Belle an electric tin opener for her birthday, so Tim feels that a useless gadget will be just the thing.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl

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