Splashy bus, cha cha cha!
We zoom in to Carrie's NYC snow globe, complete with the now-gone WTC inside, as she VOs that the one of the best, and worst, things about New York is the proliferation of things to do, and then the struggle to decide what to do. Aidan walks in, a little dusty and tired from sanding the floors in the apartment next door. Carrie bounces on the bed and asks if she should try to get a reservation into the new restaurant Town. With a period after it, as in "Town." -- the new hot spot so pretentious it must play with punctuation. I like that magazine Surface*, but the need for an asterisk makes me go all question mark? Whatever. I'm a writer, not a designer. Aidan says he's more into staying home, showering, watching the game, and getting himself a bucket of KFC, or as a friend of mine calls it, "KY Fry." Now, if you're in Manhattan and still eating fast food, I think I'd have a problem with that. There have to be a ton of soul food places where you can get really good fried chicken and "mashed potaters," as Aidan calls them. And staying in when you're tired, even if it's Saturday night, as Carrie whines? Isn't limited to those of us not living in Manhattan. If you don't feel like going out, stay in, Aidan, who says, "K period, F period, C period!" as he heads off to the shower. Good for you, guy. Carrie grabs the phone and calls Samantha, who answers with a "it's about fucking time, get over here and do me!" Not her "standard greeting," as Carrie inquires, but a retort to Richard, who blew her off four hours ago with an "I'll call you right back." Carrie ignores this news and asks if Sam wants to go out. Yes, she does, and she conferences in Miranda and Charlotte so we get a neat little four-way split screen of all the ladies. Char and Trey are still in separate quarters; Miranda's having a nap. Carrie makes the biggest meta-statement of all time, saying that they "have to go out before [they] officially become boring." Ding ding ding! Can I get a chorus of "TOO LATE FOR THAT!" Thank you. They decide to go dancing, with Miranda's only requirement being a place where she doesn't feel bad about herself for being "fat." So they go to a gay bar.
Carrie VOs that they have an answer to the question, "Where are all the hot guys? Well, the hot gay guys." Wow, this has to be the most clichéd gay bar in TV history. Oiled, beefy, shirtless guys gyrate in the black light. There's glow sticks and glow necklaces aplenty. Glittery confetti falls from the ceiling. The music: Totally Techno III, circa 1995. Let's just say it isn't a song people will be asking the title of on the boards, because it sounds like any other song you heard in a disco in the last twelve years or so. If this were an episode of 90210 or Dawson's Creek, I wouldn't complain, but there are tons of gay bars in Manhattan with soul, charm, and dancing; our girls had to go to a place that doesn't even have porn on the TVs? Well, I'm partial to cool dives. Dick's Bar on the Lower East Side, I'm looking at you. The girls dance, then make a few flattering generalizations about gay men, one of which is that gay men have hot bodies because of the possibility of having sex at the gym. "If straight men had that, they'd work out all the time too!" Sam adds that she has had sex at the gym. It's official: Samantha is a gay man. Then they decide to go to the ladies' room, where Sam and Mir guess that "there'll be no line." Yeah. Anyway. Charlotte sees an old friend on the dance floor, who's with a newer friend who's a design editor for Home and Garden. Char squeals that she used to wear her mother's pearls and flip through H&G's pages as a little girl. The design editor makes another cliché and says, "Me too!" Carrie offers up her pad as a "before," en route to being an "after." Char's friend offers up her Park Avenue pad for an editorial. Char bounces and squeals, "Ohmigod!" It'd be a dream come true for her apartment to be in H&G. Of course it would. She and the design editor go dance, and Char's friend is all, damn, she stole my man!