Cut back to the gals. Charlotte wonders if this happened because she's "a whore." Samantha: "Oh please! If you're a whore, what does that make me?" Carrie and Miranda silently dig into their food, which was a pretty funny response. Charlotte frets, because "no one wants to marry a whore." Gee, tell that to Darva and Rick, honey. Carrie decides to make the conversation all about her, and whines that everyone is getting more sex than she. Miranda asks about CIM. Carrie admits that he keeps asking her out, but "doesn't want to sleep with" her. The gals wonder if he's possibly gay, or has mother issues or an abnormal penis. Carrie shoots down all those theories. Samantha warns Carrie, "If you wait too long to sleep with someone, you miss the window and become just friends." Which probably explains why Samantha has no male friends. Bah-dum-bum. And I'm liking the analogy about lusting after CIM being akin to the desire to jump out a window; it's quite apt. Miranda makes a crack about Carrie's hopes of becoming CIM's "fucking bitch" or his "fucking whore." Charlotte frowns and pouts. Burn! Samantha tells her to lighten up.
Cut to the hallway outside Carrie's apartment. She's necking goodnight with CIM. Carrie voice-overs that she's taking Samantha's advice and is trying to vamp CIM by "wearing [her] very little dress that [leaves] very little to the imagination." As opposed to the high-necked, floor-length, demure ensembles she usually sports on this show. Whatever. Carrie's little orange tank dress doesn't work as intended, because CIM makes excuses not to join her inside the apartment. Carrie harshes a "yeah, yeah" retort at him, and closes the door in his face. CIM knocks on her door. She opens it. He wonders what's the big. Carrie asks him point-blank if he just wants to be friends. He says, "I don't know. Is that how you kiss your friends?" Ugh, LOSE HIM, Carrie! She demands to know why he won't have sex with her. He admits that he wants her sexually, but his "new thing" is having sex with someone he cares about. He tells Carrie that he thinks he can care about her. Besides, "it's only been a week and a half; don't people date anymore?" I hate to admit it, but CIM has a point. Carrie wishes him goodnight. In her apartment, she voice-overs her worry about becoming "so jaded that [she doesn't] even recognize romance when it kisse[s her] on the lips." She writes the word "ROMANCE" on a Post-It and tapes it to her laptop screen. What a great idea! Why doesn't she also write "ATTRACTIVE" on a Post-It and tape it to CIM's forehead? I don't know about her, but I keep forgetting that's supposedly one of his character's traits.
Cut to Miranda and Carrie walking in the park. For once, Miranda's outfit is far more frightful than Carrie's. She's sporting tan pants with bell-bottomed flares and a burnt-sienna blouse that clashes with her hair and has sleeves that completely cover up her hands. Anyway, Carrie is whining about how "thirteen years of dating in Manhattan" had conditioned her to forget about the concept of romance. Miranda trumps Carrie's rant by confessing that her years of dating have resulted in a diagnosis of chlamydia; her gynecologist just gave her the results of a screening. Miranda "guesses" that it's good that she found out, because she's never been tested for it before. Huh? Huh? Whatever! Miranda then bitches that her doctor "seemed judgmental" because she told Miranda to contact all of her past sexual partners so they could be treated. The HELL? Where is the "judgment" in that suggestion? I would think that someone would be "judgmental" if they bitched at Miranda for not contacting her sexual partners and informing them that they might have an STD, and that "judgment" would be completely justified because it's THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Jeez.