Carrie tells us that one of the best things about living in NYC is leaving it. She then tells us that her friends Peter and Patience invited her to the Hamptons for the weekend. Apparently, they are the perfect married couple, and they enjoy hearing stories of Carrie's sexual conquests.
So Carrie is in the Hamptons, and she wakes up in the morning and walks out of her room to see Peter walking around in a t-shirt, and nothing else, drinking coffee. Carrie sort of stares and looks confused, and then walks away. She tells us, "That is way too much Peter before coffee." See what she did there? Patience comes in from getting muffins and meets Carrie in the kitchen. Carrie tells her she ran into Peter in the hallway without his pants on, and then whispers, "P.S. -- congratulations!" Peter walks in with clothes on, and Patience is all, "Honey, did Carrie see your dick in the hall?" He tells her that Carrie caught him on his way to the bathroom. Patience is not amused. Peter takes a muffin and walks off. Nicole wonders if the writers can be even more obvious about the names they chose for this couple.
Carrie then tells us she barely had time to shove a muffin into her purse before she was on her way home. She is now at a restaurant with the girls, and they are talking about her experience, wondering why Peter would want to show her his, um, peter. Samantha guesses he wanted to "show it off, like a monkey." Like you like to show off your boobs, Samantha? As Samantha asks Carrie how big it was, their waiter comes over with a long pepper grinder and offers them fresh pepper on their salads, while holding the grinder by his "grinder." Oh, the symbolism! I'm surprised the pepper grinder isn't in the shape of an anvil, because the writers seem to be smashing us over the head with the notion that this man's penis is large. Samantha gets all excited and tells the waiter that everyone at the table could use some "fresh pepper." Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays? After the waiter leaves, the girls go back to theorizing about Peter's, er, exposition, and Carrie tells them that she told Patience that it was no big deal, and Patience told her that, since she is single, she wouldn't understand why it was in fact a big deal. This of course prompts the ladies to start grousing about how married women hate single women. Samantha thinks married women are threatened because they think that single women will have sex with their husbands. No, Samantha, married women are threatened by you because you do have sex with their husbands. Miranda thinks the ones that don't fear you, pity you. Charlotte tries to defend married women, and Carrie tells us that Charlotte looks at marriage as "a sorority that she desperately wants to pledge." Talk about foreshadowing! Finally, Charlotte agrees with the girls and complains that when she is with married people, they always treat her differently. Somewhere at the same time in a parallel universe, there is a group of married women complaining that their single girlfriends complain about the way their single friends treat them. The girls all decide that married people are "the enemy." I didn't know there was a war going on.