Cut to the spin-the-bottle game. Game-announcement-girl necks with a dreadlocked guy. The bottle spins. Alanis necks with the dreadlocked guy. Alanis spins the bottle. Carrie lights a cigarette. Suddenly there's a hush from the game-players. This is where I thought the big joke would be that these sexually liberal, progressive "kids" would bust all over Carrie for smoking cigarettes and throw her ass out of the party. But it turns out that the bottle is pointing at Carrie. Carrie thinks it's a "do-over" because the kiss would be girl-girl. Alanis says, "It's okay." She crawls toward Carrie in slow-motion. Carrie VO's that she had become "Alice in Confused Sexual Orientation Land." Instead of walking out because she's an "old fart," Alanis macks with Carrie, as Carrie VO's that she "decided to fall down the rabbit hole" Who wouldn't be thinking about hiding out in a deep, dark cave to take their minds off of that? The partygoers smirk and applaud. Carrie says the kiss "wasn't bad, kinda like chicken." Huh. Judging from the histrionic video performances given by Alanis, I've always likened her to ham, but whatever. Alanis smirks at Carrie. Carrie gets weirded out and tells Shawn that she's leaving to "get more cigarettes."
Cut to Carrie on the stairwell, lighting up a cig. She says that she never saw Shawn after that night. Or, for that matter, the Generation Y-ers from the party, either. She "realized that they could do whatever they wanted but deep down, [she] was too old to play this game." Carrie struts off into the night, taking her "hot old fart ass home. But that's just [her]." Make that "rude old fart ass," Carrie. If you have more than three dates with someone and had sex with that person, you should break up with them face-to-face, instead of skulking off to buy smokes, intending never to return. But that's just me.
Next week: Miranda's still a brittle, neurotic shrew. Samantha dates a black guy and causes a racially-motivated catfight, so perhaps the Rev. Al Sharpton might be the guest star. Charlotte's new beau sucks face, literally. And Chris in the Morning won't date Carrie unless she gives up smoking.