God help me from these awful "comedy" "bits." Carrie opens the door to Alek's apartment, and Brady toddles inside. Instantly, he heads for the most delicate, smashable thing -- the crystal vase with daffodils inside -- and smashes it. Then, the alarm keeps sounding, and the baby keeps crying. Carrie? Stop whining and saying, "Ooh! ooh! What what what what!" Because she can't remember the alarm code. Four numbers are really hard to remember, yo. Alek comes in from his studio and rescues her, then plays with Brady until he giggles and squeals in that totally adorable baby way. Carrie says seeing Alek with a baby was "disarming." Yeah, men who are good with kids are rare.
It's the honeymeh! Miranda and Steve lounge in bed, nude. Hey, I forgot Steve had such a hot body! Hello there. What an ass. You could bounce a quarter off that thing. Mir says, "That was really great. Now what?" Steve laughs and says they should just lay there and relax. Oh, boy. That is so not Miranda's style. So she gets up to unpack. Steve flips over, and though I rewind and pause the TiVo forever, I do not see his package. Just that wonderful ass of his. Mir is distraught to see that there's no TV or radio. Then she calms down. There's a CD player, with a CD. She puts it on and it's so bad, it's almost whale songs. It's practically womb noises. It's some kind of pan flute hybrid dedicated to the mountain which they are presently atop. You know, if I were stranded on my honeymeh and I was a type-A person like Miranda, which I am, I would be thanking god that I packed ten books with me. Why didn't Miranda pack ten books with her? Or at least the backlog of New Yorkers (not New York) lying around? I mean, come on. Vacation means books. At the TWoP recapper's summit, I roomed with Gustave, and we each packed three books and then traded with each other for our trips home. And we each had magazines, and tabloids. I still have his copy of Running With Scissors, which I really enjoyed. So, Miranda? Come on. You're a smart woman. Well, listening to that music is probably lowering the IQ of the room. Then, she really panics: She forgot her cell phone charger. Steve says she doesn't need it. Um, what about the baby? You know, checking in? Oh well, it's just a show.
Alex helps Brady finger-paint. God, it's ADORABLE. Except for the fact that Carrie sitting there, agog at the natural way Alek engages the little one. Oh, and he had a vasectomy, so DON'T LOOK AT HIM. That's fun, to see Carrie's hopes get all shattered like the vase. Wow, a guy that digs her (bad), and now can't provide her with the kids she didn't want! Oh, and there's this: He's already HAD children! From a previous marriage! When will she dump this guy? That's Carrie's real biological clock: the one that makes sure she does something self-destructive on a regular basis. So, Alek asks, why didn't Carrie ever have kids? She "never got around to it." It's something she "always wanted to do." Alek asks casually, "When were you planning to do this...what are you, thirty-eight?" POW. That statement, not rude at all, was so blunt that even I, miles from thirty-eight, felt it. Oh, the honesty. Sometimes, when we touch? The honesty's too much. And I have to hamn mah nahm, and craaaaah. Yeah, that's all I remember from that song. AM gold, man.