Carrie and Char hang at the park. Carrie eats a giant black and white cookie while she wears this incredibly hideous brown shearling jacket with a hand-painted back and Ugg boots, which go really well with her ugg face. She's wearing this horrific nightmare of an outfit as she and Char talk about having babies. Char is all, he had a whaaat? Da svedanya or whatever! Carrie isn't too sure about that. "Men like him don't come along too often." The other issue is whether Carrie is a baby person or not. She's never had time. She doesn't even have time to eat the huge cookie. Char asks how the huge cookie is. "It's so good I forgot to have children." Heh. Char makes more "time's awastin' so have them babies" comments, and Carrie aptly notes that it was never really a priority before. She lists her previous priorities. "I wanted to be a writer, I made myself a writer! I want a ridiculously extravagant pair of shoes, I find a way to buy them." Char says this is different; she was waiting for the right man and the right time. Yeah. Carrie can see that. Except for the extreme possibility that she just never wanted kids. Char argues, "Why should you give up having a baby for a man you hardly know?" Carrie shoots back, "Why should I give up a man for a baby I hardly know I want?" Seriously, Char. You're arguing for what you want, not for what Carrie wants. And Carrie? Doesn't even know what she wants. Char frowns and says she thinks Carrie is a "closeted baby person" and that she hopes Carrie has a baby. She's "still got a few years left." I'm not so sure. Carrie has a ways to go before she even seriously thinks about raising kids. I mean, to go from "should I?" to "let's!" is a long journey. Well, it should be, at least. It's called family PLANNING, not family right now when it occurred to me at age 38. And since Alek has had a vasectomy and kids already, looks like she found The Reason(s) To Break Up with him. Which is probably what she wants, since she's never chosen to be happy in her entire life. Except for all the little shoe-gasms.
Honeymeh. Mir and Steve are in a tub laden with bubbles. The ersatz whale song CD tootles in the background. There's a bottle of Veuve Cliquot, rose petals on the suds, a roaring fireplace. Um...excuse me? I don't see a polar bear rug, or a heart-shaped tub. What the fuck IS this? Kidding. Steve says that he wants to wash Miranda's hair. He's always wanted to do that. "Y'know, like Out of Africa." There was syphilis in that, too. And roaring lions. That movie was kind of depressing. I mean, would you say to someone, "Let's make French toast, like in Kramer vs. Kramer! Then we can go play in the park!" Or, "Hey, wanna go dancing and drinking and then play on the Brooklyn Bridge, like in Saturday Night Fever? Awesome!" I never forget the depressing parts of movies. It's what makes them real! Anyway, Mir and Steve's bathos turns to pathos as he washes her hair with "heart soap" and it gets in her eye. "Ow. Ow! Heart soap in my eye!" Hee! Classic.